WIBTAH For Throwing Out Mom’s Partner’s OWL?

WIBTAH for throwing out Mom’s Partner’s OWL?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Pest Control Goes Awry: A Family Dilemma

In a household already grappling with the challenges of tinnitus, a woman’s life takes a turn for the worse when her mom’s partner introduces a robotic owl alarm meant to deter pests. The incessant, high-pitched sounds of the alarm become unbearable, leading to a clash between the needs of the household and B’s obsession with pest control. As tensions rise, she contemplates drastic measures to reclaim her peace, raising questions about boundaries and communication in shared living spaces. This relatable story highlights the often humorous yet frustrating dynamics of family life and the lengths one might go to for a little tranquility.

Family Drama Over Robotic Owl Alarm

A 28-year-old woman (referred to as OP) is facing a conflict with her mother’s partner, a 72-year-old man (referred to as B), regarding a robotic owl alarm that has become a source of tension in their household. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: OP lives with her mother (57F) and B, along with two dogs. Both OP and her mother suffer from genetic tinnitus, making them sensitive to high-pitched sounds.
B’s Hyperfixation: B has developed a keen interest in pest control, particularly due to a mouse issue in the house. He has set up various traps and devices to manage pests.
The Alarm Issue: B purchased a robotic owl alarm designed to deter pests. The alarm emits a high-pitched sound that is unbearable for OP and her mother, but B is unable to hear it.
Initial Reactions: OP and her mother immediately expressed their discontent, stating they could not tolerate the noise, especially with their dogs around. OP even threatened to dispose of the device if it was placed near her bedroom window.
Continued Conflict: Despite their objections, B set up the alarm outside, which frequently goes off due to movement from the dogs or wind. This has led to ongoing frustration for OP and her mother, as they are unable to turn it off without B’s assistance.
Upcoming Challenges: With OP starting classes soon and her mother working at the hospital, B will be home alone with the dogs, raising concerns about the alarm going off repeatedly.
Decision to Act: OP’s mother has given her the go-ahead to dispose of the alarm. OP plans to wait until Tuesday to throw it out with the trash, hoping to avoid confrontation with B.

Conflict Resolution Attempts

Advice from Others: OP’s brother’s girlfriend suggested having one last serious conversation with B to explain the situation and the reasons behind their frustrations.
Limitations: OP cannot dismantle the alarm or disable it, as it is solar-powered and designed for easy setup. B has also installed a motion-activated camera to monitor the device.
Safety Concerns: OP plans to use the warning that these alarms should not be placed near human habitation during her discussion with B.

Resolution

In a positive turn of events, OP’s mother successfully convinced B to remove the alarm. B agreed to take it to his ex-sister-in-law, who lives in a more suitable area without nearby human habitation. This resolution alleviates the wedding tension and restores peace in the household.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

So some background: I, 28F, live with my mom, 57F, and her partner, 72M, plus two dogs. Mom and I both have genetic tinnitus, so for as long as we can remember, we’ve been hearing a nonstop high-pitched buzzing.

Okay, Mom’s partner, who from here on will be referred to as B, has ADHD; so do I, but mine is irrelevant at the moment. His current hyperfixation is pest control. There are some mice in the house, so he put out mousetraps and caught a few.

But right now, he’s focused on preventing rats and other pests from getting in. A few weeks ago, B got this robotic owl alarm thing that’s meant to watch and then go off when it picks up movement. The issues started almost as soon as he pulled it out.

See, when the alarm goes off, it first sounds like a high-pitched car alarm before switching to a note that then gets progressively higher before reaching a point and going back down. It then repeats until someone goes and manually turns it off. The problem is that Mom and I can both hear it and find it annoying and painful after a while when it reaches above our hearing, but B can’t hear it at all.

Now, we immediately told him no; we were not putting up with that, especially because of our dogs. I even threatened to throw it in the trash if I found it under my bedroom window. B still set it up in the little side path next to the house, right next to our neighbors who, while older, offer a kind of after-school service out of their house.

And remember how I said movement can set off the alarm? That includes wind rustling the leaves of the bushes or our dogs going potty back there. For weeks now, the owl will go off, day or night, and because B got it and set it up, and then threw out the boxes, Mom and I don’t know how to turn it off. It will go on for hours until we can yell at B enough to turn it off.

Then he’ll turn it back on again a few hours later for the cycle to repeat. I’m starting classes again next week, while Mom mostly works in her offices at the hospitals, so B is going to be the only one home. He’s semi-retired and works from home soon, with the dogs.

Plus, with winter holidays over, the kids will be returning. This morning, Mom finally gave the green light to follow through with my threat of throwing out the cursed bird, but I’m deciding to wait until Tuesday so it can be picked up with the trash the next morning and far away long before B realizes what has been done.

So, WIBTAH for going through with this plan?

Updates

Bro’s GF read the post and convinced me to have one more serious talk with B before throwing it out, just to make sure he understands what’s wrong and why we’re doing this.
I can’t take it apart or cut the wires, or remove the batteries. It’s solar-powered and one of those things that can be turned on and put out right out of the box.
He has a motion-activated camera pointed at the bird. He will notice if I mess with it and then put it back.
These things come with a warning to not put them near human habitation or child play areas. Yes, I will be using this information during our talk.

Last update

Mom managed to talk B into getting rid of the things. He said he’s going to take them up to his ex-SiL, who has no human neighbors and is around his age. Happy ending all around!

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the situation with the bird should have been addressed much sooner, with many users expressing frustration over the delay in taking action. There is a shared sentiment that immediate measures, such as disposing of the bird, would have been the best course of action to avoid ongoing problems. Overall, commenters emphasize the importance of decisiveness in dealing with annoying situations.

Verdict: YTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict in households can be challenging, especially when it involves differing sensitivities and interests. In this case, both OP and B have valid concerns that need to be addressed. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the situation amicably:

Steps for OP and Her Mother

Initiate a Calm Conversation: Schedule a time to talk to B when everyone is calm. Express your feelings about the alarm without placing blame. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel overwhelmed by the noise from the alarm.”
Explain the Health Concerns: Clearly articulate how the high-pitched sound affects both OP and her mother due to their tinnitus. Providing context about their health conditions can help B understand the urgency of the situation.
Offer Alternatives: Suggest alternative pest control methods that do not involve high-pitched sounds. Research options together, such as traps or natural deterrents, to show willingness to compromise.
Set Boundaries: If B insists on using the alarm, propose specific times when it can be active, ensuring it doesn’t interfere with OP’s classes or her mother’s work schedule.

Steps for B

Listen Actively: Approach the conversation with an open mind. Acknowledge OP and her mother’s concerns and validate their feelings about the noise.
Consider Their Health: Understand that OP and her mother’s sensitivity to sound is a legitimate health issue. Be willing to adjust your pest control methods to accommodate their needs.
Explore Compromise: Be open to discussing alternative solutions for pest control that do not involve the alarm. This shows flexibility and a willingness to work together.
Monitor the Situation: If a compromise is reached, agree to check in regularly to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the solution and make adjustments as necessary.

Conclusion

By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to listen, both OP and B can work towards a resolution that respects everyone’s needs. Open communication and compromise are key to maintaining harmony in the household.