wibta if I took a job as my ex-roomates boss?
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When Friendship Turns Sour: A Job Dilemma
After nearly a decade of friendship and shared living, a couple finds themselves blindsided when their close friends decide to move out without warning, leading to a painful fallout. As they navigate the emotional turmoil of betrayal and isolation, the protagonist faces a new challenge: applying for a job that might put her in the same workplace as her former best friend. This relatable story explores themes of friendship, loyalty, and the complexities of moving on, resonating with anyone who has experienced the heartbreak of lost connections. Will she prioritize her career over past grievances, or will the shadow of their friendship loom too large?
Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: Navigating Job Opportunities
In a situation filled with family drama and wedding tension, a couple finds themselves grappling with the fallout from a broken friendship. Here’s a breakdown of the events leading to a potential job conflict:
- Background: The narrator (32F) and her partner (32M) lived with a married couple (27F, 30M) for nearly a decade. They shared significant life events, including weddings and moving across the country together.
- Unexpected News: Last year, the couple announced they would be moving out at the end of their lease to live with another friend, leaving the narrator and her partner in a difficult position as they could not afford a place on their own.
- Hostile Environment: Following the announcement, the atmosphere in the shared home became tense. The couple began avoiding the narrator and her partner, locking their cat away, and spreading negative comments about them to mutual friends.
- Isolation: The couple’s actions led to a significant rift in their friend group, with many friends choosing to side with the couple, further isolating the narrator and her partner.
- Confrontation: When the narrator confronted the couple about their behavior, they deflected blame, claiming the narrator and her partner were the ones who had been unkind.
- Moving On: After months of distress, the narrator found new roommates and began to heal from the situation. By October, she had blocked all former friends from her life.
Fast forward to the present, the narrator is seeking new job opportunities due to dissatisfaction with her current remote work situation. She recently secured a second interview for a position she believes would be a great fit. However, she has a concern:
- Potential Conflict: There is a possibility that her former roommate and best friend works at the same company. The narrator is unsure if this could create complications if she were to be hired.
- Decision Making: Despite the potential for awkwardness, the narrator is leaning towards pursuing the job opportunity, feeling that she should not let past conflicts dictate her career choices.
The narrator is left wondering if she would be the antagonist (WIBTA) for accepting a job where her ex-best friend might be employed. This situation highlights the complexities of conflict resolution in personal relationships and the impact of family drama on professional decisions.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story: Throw away just in case.
My partner (32M) and I (32F) were roommates with the same two people, a married couple (27F, 30M), up until July of last year. We had lived together for almost a decade. We all moved out of our parents’ houses together, were in each other’s weddings, and moved across the country together.
Then we convinced a dozen of our friends to move with us. We had also frequently talked about buying a house together. Out of nowhere, last year they told us they would be moving out when the lease was up and moving in with a different friend of ours.
We could not afford a place on our own, and almost all our friends were locked into leases with no extra rooms. After they told us the news, the next four months before the lease was up were awful. Not only did they start to actively avoid and ignore us, but they literally started locking their cat in their room like we were going to do something to him.
They started talking shit about us behind our backs and got half the friend group to stop talking to us. We also found out almost everyone in the friend group knew they would be moving out like this MONTHS before they told us. When I confronted each of them, neither could give me a reason and basically said, “Nuh-uh, you avoided us! You gossiped about us!”
Then they had our former friends message us to tell us what pieces of shit we were and how great our other friends are. After months of depression, I was able to move on and accept they clearly had been building up resentment for a while, IF they had ever liked us at all. Our new roommates now are great, group events are more fun, and I don’t cry every time I finish talking to someone who was supposed to be one of my closest friends.
We moved out in July, and I officially blocked all of them in October, I believe. Now, I recently decided I wanted to change jobs. I hate my bosses, and I am tired of remote work.
I have started applying to similar jobs near me in hopes of finding somewhere new. I just got a second interview at a place I think would be pretty great, but it recently hit me that there is a good chance it’s where my former roommate/best friend works. I don’t have a way to find out if it is, but I have mostly decided I don’t care.
I’ve moved on, and I don’t want to give up a job opportunity just because I might end up becoming my ex-best friend’s manager. But… WIBTA if I did?
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments indicate a consensus that while the individual is not the asshole (NTA) for their position, it is crucial to maintain professionalism and objectivity in the workplace. Users emphasize the importance of documenting all interactions with the employee in question, highlighting concerns about potential dishonesty and gossip. Overall, the comments suggest that personal feelings should not interfere with professional responsibilities.
Verdict: NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict
Navigating the complexities of personal relationships while pursuing professional opportunities can be challenging. Here are some practical steps to help the narrator address the potential conflict with her former roommate and best friend while maintaining professionalism:
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to process your emotions regarding the past relationship. Acknowledge any lingering feelings of hurt or betrayal, but also recognize your desire to move forward in your career.
- Research the Company Culture: Before accepting the job, investigate the company’s culture and values. Understanding how they handle interpersonal conflicts can provide insight into how to navigate your situation if hired.
- Prepare for the Interview: Focus on showcasing your skills and qualifications during the interview. If the topic of your former roommate arises, be prepared to address it professionally, emphasizing your commitment to maintaining a positive work environment.
- Document Interactions: If you do get hired and your former roommate is also employed there, keep a record of any interactions. This documentation can be helpful if any issues arise, ensuring you have a clear account of events.
- Set Boundaries: If you find yourself working alongside your former friend, establish clear boundaries. Maintain professionalism and avoid discussing personal matters that could lead to further conflict.
- Seek Support: Connect with other colleagues or mentors within the company who can provide guidance and support. Having a network can help you navigate any challenges that may arise.
- Focus on Your Work: Concentrate on your job responsibilities and strive to excel in your role. By focusing on your professional growth, you can minimize the impact of personal conflicts on your work life.
- Consider Future Steps: If the situation becomes untenable, be open to exploring other job opportunities. Your well-being and career satisfaction should always be a priority.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that pursuing a job opportunity is a personal decision. While past conflicts can be challenging, they should not dictate your career path. By approaching the situation with professionalism and a focus on your goals, you can navigate this conflict effectively.
Join the Discussion
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