WIBTA If I Send The Messages That I Sent To My Ex About The Abortion Of The Twins To His Best Friend?

WIBTA if I send the messages that I sent to my ex about the abortion of the twins to his best friend?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When the Past Haunts Your Future

In a heart-wrenching tale of betrayal and survival, a woman grapples with the aftermath of her abusive relationship as she faces a life-threatening pregnancy. After enduring physical violence and emotional turmoil, she finds herself at a crossroads, needing to communicate with her ex about the twins she carries, all while preparing for a critical surgery. The struggle to reclaim her voice and confront her abuser raises questions about accountability and the lengths one should go to for closure. This story resonates deeply with anyone who has faced the complexities of toxic relationships and the fight for personal safety and autonomy.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Difficult Decision

In a challenging situation involving family drama and personal conflict, a woman is grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with her ex-partner. The following points outline her experience:

Background: The woman was in a relationship with her ex, who cheated on her, physically abused her, and ultimately forced her out of their home while she was pregnant with twins.
Emotional Impact: The cheating incident triggered a past miscarriage, adding to her emotional distress.
Cutting Ties: After the breakup, she cut off contact with her ex. However, he began to harass her family, prompting them to confront him about his actions.
Abortion Discussion: Her ex requested to discuss the abortion, questioning whether she had terminated the pregnancy. She is currently in the process of preparing for surgery related to this situation.
Urgency: With surgery scheduled for the next day, she attempted to reach out to her ex, but he ignored her messages, leading her to contact his best friend for assistance.
Consideration of Actions: She contemplated sending her texts to his best friend, which included details of the abuse she suffered, to ensure her ex received the message about the urgency of her situation.
Health Risks: Medical professionals informed her that continuing the pregnancy poses significant health risks, including complications from past abuse that resulted in a hematoma in her brain.
Reflection: After receiving advice from others, she recognized that unblocking her ex was a mistake. He attempted to manipulate her emotions by suggesting they could be together again.
Final Decision: She ultimately decided against sending the messages to his friend and re-blocked her ex, prioritizing her health and well-being.
Legal Considerations: Following the advice of others, she plans to consult a lawyer regarding potential legal action against her ex for the abuse she endured, recognizing the importance of protecting herself and possibly preventing future harm to others.

This situation highlights the complexities of family drama, the challenges of conflict resolution, and the emotional turmoil that can arise from abusive relationships. The woman’s journey emphasizes the importance of prioritizing one’s health and safety in the face of adversity.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

Hello, my ex cheated on me, beat me, and kicked me out of the house while I was carrying his twins. The cheating provoked a past miscarriage for me. I cut contact with him, but he started bothering my family.

My family told him his truths, but he also asked them to unblock him to talk about the abortion to know if I aborted for real. I started the process. Tomorrow, I have the surgery.

I have been trying to call him and contact him all day. He is online; he just purposely ignores my texts. I texted his best friend, so they are together, and told him, “Hey, can you tell my ex I need to talk to him? It’s about the babies.”

He said he told him, but my ex still did not reply. Would I be the asshole to put my texts to his best friend so he reads it out loud to him since they are together? It contains mentions of his beatings and him kicking me out while I was pregnant.

The cheating with the coworker is something his best friend is aware of. I am not sure if it is appropriate. But again, the surgery is tomorrow; I have no time to play ignore or not ignore.

EDIT

Doctors told me I risk my life if I continue this pregnancy. Also, the babies do not come well due to his beatings. Additionally, I have a hematoma in the brain due to him slamming my head against the door of a car, which almost caused my death when I was involved in an accident.

I do not have a choice at this point.

EDIT 2

Okay. You were all right; I did mess up by unblocking him. Instead of saying anything about the surgery, he told me we can be together. Yeah, it’s all mind games.

I blocked him again. I did not send the messages to his friend and blocked him.

EDIT 3

I will go to sleep for the surgery tomorrow. I have decided that I will contact a lawyer to see if we could go and report in NL as well. If necessary, I will fly to NL for court.

What you have said about him trying to murder me and murdering the babies made me realize that if I let him free, he can do this to other girls! Thanks. I will delete my pictures of the injuries and the babies in case he recognizes my account or his friends or family, so they don’t know I plan to sue and what I have.

UPDATE

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around the advice to completely cut off contact with the individual in question due to the history of abuse and danger posed. Most users agree that reaching out would not lead to any positive outcome and could potentially worsen the situation, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing personal safety and emotional well-being.

Overall Verdict: YTA

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict

In situations involving family drama and personal conflict, especially those stemming from abusive relationships, it is crucial to approach the resolution process with care and empathy. Here are practical steps to consider for both sides involved in the conflict:

For the Woman:

Prioritize Your Safety: Ensure that you have a safety plan in place. This may include changing your contact information, securing a safe living environment, and seeking support from trusted friends or family.
Seek Professional Help: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and abuse. They can provide you with coping strategies and emotional support during this challenging time.
Legal Consultation: Follow through with your plan to consult a lawyer regarding the abuse. Understanding your legal rights can empower you and help you take necessary actions to protect yourself.
Document Everything: Keep a record of any harassment or abusive behavior from your ex. This documentation can be crucial for legal proceedings or protective orders.
Focus on Healing: Engage in self-care practices that promote your physical and emotional well-being. This could include exercise, meditation, or spending time with supportive loved ones.

For the Ex-Partner:

Reflect on Your Actions: It is essential for the ex-partner to take time to reflect on the impact of their behavior. Acknowledging past mistakes is the first step toward personal growth.
Seek Professional Help: If the ex-partner is open to it, they should consider therapy to address underlying issues that contributed to their abusive behavior. This can be a critical step in preventing future harm.
Respect Boundaries: Understand that the woman has the right to cut off contact for her safety and well-being. Respecting her boundaries is crucial for both parties’ healing processes.
Accountability: If the ex-partner genuinely wishes to make amends, they should take responsibility for their actions without expecting forgiveness or reconciliation. This may involve acknowledging the pain caused and expressing a commitment to change.

For Family and Friends:

Provide Support: Offer emotional and practical support to the woman. This could include helping her find resources, accompanying her to appointments, or simply being there to listen.
Encourage Healthy Boundaries: Help her maintain boundaries with her ex-partner and reinforce the importance of prioritizing her safety and well-being.
Educate Yourself: Learn about the dynamics of abusive relationships to better understand what your loved one is experiencing. This knowledge can help you provide more effective support.

Conflict resolution in the context of family drama, especially involving abuse, requires sensitivity and a commitment to safety. By taking these steps, both parties can work towards healing and establishing healthier dynamics moving forward.