WIBTA If I Prevented My Anti-vaxxer Mom From Meeting Her First Grandchild For Refusing To Get The TDAP Booster?

WIBTA if I prevented my anti-vaxxer mom from meeting her first grandchild for refusing to get the TDAP booster?

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When Parenting Your Parent Becomes a Reality

As a soon-to-be mom, the author grapples with the frustration of dealing with her anti-vaxxer mother while trying to protect her newborn. Despite her calm explanations about the importance of vaccinations, her mother remains stubbornly resistant, leading to a heated clash over safety and responsibility. This relatable struggle highlights the generational divide in attitudes toward health and safety, especially in the wake of the pandemic. Can she stand her ground without severing family ties, or will she have to compromise for the sake of peace?

Family Drama Over Baby Shower Vaccination Requirements

A pregnant woman is facing significant family drama as she prepares for the arrival of her baby boy. With only ten weeks left until her due date, tensions are rising, particularly with her mother regarding vaccination protocols. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: The expectant mother is deeply invested in ensuring her newborn’s safety, especially in the first few months after birth.
Baby Shower Discussion: During a recent call, the mother mentioned her brother, who lives in California, might not attend the baby shower because he wants to be present for the birth.
Vaccination Requirement: She informed her mother that her brother would need to get the TDAP booster vaccine to be around the baby, as advised by her doctor.
Mother’s Reaction: The mother reacted negatively, stating she would not get vaccinated and suggesting she could wear a mask instead.

The expectant mother attempted to explain the importance of the vaccine, emphasizing that her siblings, husband, and in-laws all understood the necessity of the TDAP booster. However, her mother remained resistant:

Anti-Vaccine Stance: The mother expressed her refusal to receive any vaccines, citing her past experiences and beliefs.
Past Conflicts: The expectant mother recalled previous conflicts during the COVID-19 pandemic, where her mother had to be coerced into getting vaccinated after contracting the virus.
Frustration: The expectant mother feels overwhelmed and frustrated, feeling as though she has to “parent” her own mother to ensure responsible behavior.

In light of this conflict, the expectant mother has sought advice from her siblings, who have offered to intervene. Her husband has suggested that her mother may eventually come around to the idea of vaccination, but the expectant mother remains skeptical:

Seeking Support: The expectant mother is reaching out for advice on how to handle her mother’s stubbornness regarding vaccinations.
Potential Consequences: She is contemplating limiting her mother’s access to the baby if she refuses to comply with the vaccination requirement.
Conflict Resolution: The expectant mother is torn between wanting to maintain family ties and ensuring her child’s safety.

As the due date approaches, the expectant mother is left wondering how to navigate this family drama and whether she would be in the wrong for restricting her mother’s access to her newborn if she remains unvaccinated. The situation highlights the challenges of conflict resolution within families, especially when differing beliefs about health and safety come into play.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I apologize if this comes off more as a rant. I swear I’m looking for advice. My hormones are elevated because of how pissed I am after getting off a call with my mom.

I’m trying to calm down and be rational, but IDK what to do and just need advice on how to get my mom to grow tf up. I’m 10 weeks from my due date. My mom called me to talk about the baby shower, and I mentioned to her my brother who lives in CA may not come because he wants to be here for his nephew’s birth.

I told her that I warned him that he’ll need to get the TDAP booster if he wants to be around him and that I want to limit as many people as possible that have access to him in the first two months after his birth. I’ve been through so much to get to this point with my baby boy that I’m madly in love with, and I’m taking every precaution to make sure he’s safe. My mom goes, “I’ll wear a mask or something, but I’m not getting no vaccine.”

Repeating this is pissing me off all over again. I explained to her as calmly as possible that my doctor said it’s required for anyone who will be in contact with a newborn to have the TDAP booster. My siblings understand this, my husband, my in-laws. THIS WOMAN THO???

She’s like, “I’ve never had to get that vaccine; I’m not getting any more vaccines. I refuse to put these things in my body.” I was like, “Well then you won’t be anywhere near your grandson for the first couple of months.” She starts arguing with me about it, and OMG, my mom is freaking anti-vaxxer!

It’s pissing me off again, again, again; it’s pissing me off just typing this. Her irresponsible self was the FIRST ONE TO GET COVID when the pandemic hit because she didn’t listen to sht my siblings and I WARNED her about. We literally had to THREATEN HER and drag her ass to a freaking clinic to get the vaccine while she whined and complained and spat conspiracy theories from Facebook boomer memes!

AND when she got COVID, we told her to QUARANTINE, and why when I checked up on her, she said she was at a freaking GROCERY STORE??? You are INFECTED!! Why the fck do I need to parent my parent to be a non-selfish adult???? Sorry y’all, I’m pissed. I’m so pissed.

I ranted to my brother and sister, who said they’re gonna talk to her. My husband told me not to stress, and she’ll eventually change her mind when we tell her she can’t be around our son. But my mom is so hard-headed and sneaky, and this is not the BS I need right now.

Has anyone dealt with boomer anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorist parents? How do I get my mom to see reason? And if I can’t, WIBTA if I give her ignorant self nothing more than a FaceTime because I’m not compromising on this?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the mother has the right to set strict vaccination requirements for her child’s safety, emphasizing that the grandmother’s choice not to vaccinate should result in limited access to the baby. Many users suggest that the mother should not only insist on vaccination but also verify proof to ensure compliance, reflecting a protective stance towards the newborn’s health. Overall, the comments highlight the importance of prioritizing the child’s well-being over familial relationships.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict Over Vaccination

Navigating family dynamics, especially when it comes to health and safety, can be incredibly challenging. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the conflict between the expectant mother and her mother regarding vaccination requirements for the newborn:

For the Expectant Mother

Communicate Clearly: Schedule a calm and private conversation with your mother. Clearly explain your concerns about the baby’s health and why the TDAP vaccine is essential. Use “I” statements to express your feelings, such as “I feel anxious about the baby’s safety without the vaccine.”
Provide Information: Share credible resources about the importance of the TDAP vaccine for newborns. This could include information from pediatricians or public health organizations that outline the risks of whooping cough and the benefits of vaccination.
Listen to Her Concerns: Allow your mother to express her feelings and beliefs about vaccinations. Understanding her perspective may help you find common ground and address her fears more effectively.
Offer Alternatives: If your mother is resistant to getting vaccinated, discuss potential alternatives, such as wearing a mask or limiting contact until she feels comfortable. However, make it clear that these are not substitutes for vaccination.
Set Boundaries: Be honest about your boundaries regarding the baby’s access. If your mother remains unvaccinated, calmly explain that this may limit her time with the baby. Emphasize that this decision is about protecting your child, not about punishing her.
Seek Support: Involve your siblings or other family members who support your stance. They can help mediate the conversation and reinforce the importance of vaccination for the baby’s safety.

For the Mother

Reflect on Your Beliefs: Take some time to consider the reasons behind your refusal to vaccinate. Are there specific fears or past experiences that influence your stance? Understanding your own beliefs can help you communicate them more effectively.
Educate Yourself: Consider seeking information from trusted medical professionals about the safety and efficacy of vaccines. This may help alleviate some of your concerns and provide a more balanced view.
Consider the Bigger Picture: Reflect on the potential impact of your decision on your relationship with your daughter and your new grandchild. Sometimes, prioritizing family health and safety can lead to difficult but necessary compromises.
Be Open to Dialogue: Approach the conversation with your daughter with an open mind. Acknowledge her concerns and express your willingness to discuss them without judgment.
Explore Compromise: If you are open to it, consider discussing a timeline for vaccination or other measures that could help ease your daughter’s concerns while respecting your beliefs.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the goal is to ensure the safety and well-being of the newborn while maintaining family relationships. Open, respectful communication is key to navigating this sensitive issue. Both sides should strive to understand each other’s perspectives and work towards a solution that prioritizes the health of the baby while respecting individual beliefs.