WIBTA if I asked my bf to turn off his own alarm?
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Alarm Clock Dilemma: A Morning Routine Disrupted
In this relatable tale, a woman grapples with her boyfriend’s increasingly demanding morning routine that disrupts her own. After years of partnership, his habit of asking her to turn off his alarm—often while he stays cozy in bed—leaves her feeling frustrated and resentful. As a self-proclaimed non-morning person, she struggles to maintain her own routine, especially on her days off, leading her to question whether she’s being unreasonable. This story resonates with anyone who has navigated the complexities of shared living and the delicate balance of personal boundaries in relationships.
Family Drama Over Morning Routines
A 32-year-old woman is facing a conflict with her boyfriend, aged 30, regarding their morning routines. The couple has been together for nearly four years, but recent changes have led to tension and frustration.
- Alarm Situation: The boyfriend has started asking the woman to turn off his morning alarm, which he deliberately places far from the bed. Initially, he only requested this occasionally, but it has now become a daily expectation.
- Impact on Routine: The woman is not a morning person and has her own routine to ensure she is not grumpy throughout the day. Having to get out of bed to turn off his alarm disrupts her morning and adds to her irritation, especially on her days off.
- Timing of Alarms: The boyfriend’s alarm is typically set 40 minutes before hers, but sometimes it goes off just 10 minutes prior. He often asks her to turn it off, then stays in bed until her alarm rings, which complicates her morning further.
- Cuddling Dilemma: While the extra time in bed is spent cuddling, which the woman enjoys, it contrasts sharply with the frustration of being woken up to turn off the alarm. Previously, the boyfriend would turn off his alarm and return to cuddle, but this has changed.
The woman is contemplating whether she would be the “asshole” if she directly addressed the situation with her boyfriend. She is considering telling him to either turn off his own alarm or to adjust his schedule so that he wakes up when her alarm goes off.
- Potential Solutions:
- Communicate her feelings about the alarm situation and its impact on her morning routine.
- Suggest that he either turns off his alarm himself or adjusts his wake-up time to align with hers.
This situation highlights the importance of conflict resolution in relationships, especially when it comes to daily habits that can lead to family drama. Open communication may help alleviate the wedding tension that could arise from unresolved issues like this one.
This is Original story from Reddit
Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)
Story
Me 32F and my bf 30M have been together for nearly 4 years now. Since a couple of months, he keeps asking me to turn off the alarm on his phone in the morning. First, he asked me only a couple of random days, but now it is almost daily.
He deliberately puts his phone quite far away from our bed, so he has to get up to turn off the alarm. Now I have to get out of bed to turn it off, and I HATE it. Like, I don’t even know how to describe how much it annoys and irritates me.
I am not a morning person, and he knows this, and I have my own morning routine to make sure I am not grumpy towards everyone in the morning. But turning off his alarm messes up my routine and makes me really frustrated in the morning. Even more so when he asks me to turn off his alarm on my day off.
My bf has his own company and prefers to be early at his office. So his alarm is usually set about 40 minutes before my alarm. But sometimes it is also set 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.
He will ask me to ‘please turn it off one more time’ and then stay in bed till my alarm goes. Now this is where I might be the AH, because the extra time in bed he mostly spends cuddling me, and I really love it. Before this all started, he used to turn off his alarm himself and come back to bed to cuddle, but that doesn’t happen anymore.
WIBTA if I told him to either turn off his own alarm from now on, or just not set an alarm and get up when my alarm goes off?
View the Original Reddit Post Here
Summary of Reddit Comments
The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around NTA due to the belief that the individual acted within their rights and prioritized their own well-being. Most users agree that setting boundaries is essential, providing insight into the overall moral takeaway that self-care should not be compromised for others’ expectations.
- Verdict: NTA
Expert Advice for Resolving the Morning Routine Conflict
Conflict over morning routines can be a common issue in relationships, especially when both partners have different needs and preferences. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the situation while considering both sides:
For the Woman
- Communicate Openly: Schedule a calm moment to discuss your feelings about the alarm situation. Use “I” statements to express how it affects your mornings, such as “I feel frustrated when I have to get out of bed to turn off your alarm.”
- Set Boundaries: Clearly state your boundaries regarding your morning routine. Let him know that while you enjoy cuddling, you need uninterrupted time to prepare for your day.
- Propose Solutions: Suggest practical alternatives, such as him placing his alarm closer to him or adjusting his wake-up time to align with yours. This way, he can still enjoy cuddling without disrupting your routine.
For the Boyfriend
- Listen Actively: When your partner shares her feelings, listen without interrupting. Acknowledge her frustrations and validate her need for a peaceful morning routine.
- Reflect on Your Habits: Consider why you’ve shifted your alarm routine. If it’s for cuddling, think about how you can achieve that without causing disruption. Perhaps you can set your alarm to go off later or find a way to turn it off yourself.
- Be Open to Compromise: Relationships often require compromise. Be willing to adjust your habits for the sake of your partner’s well-being, and discuss what works best for both of you.
Joint Steps Forward
- Establish a Morning Routine Together: Create a morning routine that accommodates both of your needs. This could include setting a specific time for cuddling that doesn’t interfere with waking up.
- Check-In Regularly: After implementing changes, check in with each other to see how the new routine is working. This will help both partners feel heard and valued.
- Be Patient: Adjusting to new routines takes time. Be patient with each other as you navigate this change, and be willing to revisit the conversation if needed.
By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to communicate, both partners can work towards a solution that respects each other’s needs and strengthens their relationship.
Join the Discussion
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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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