WIBTA for going to my family’s NYE party without my girlfriend

WIBTA for going to my family’s NYE party without my girlfriend

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Conflicted Choices on New Year’s Eve

When a young man finds himself torn between spending New Year’s Eve with his family and caring for his sick girlfriend, he grapples with feelings of guilt and obligation. After a week of holiday celebrations with her family, he returns home only to discover she’s come down with a nasty flu. As he navigates this emotional dilemma, he must decide whether to prioritize his own desires or support his partner in her time of need. This relatable scenario highlights the often challenging balance between family commitments and romantic relationships, a struggle many can identify with during the holiday season.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution on New Year’s Eve

A 28-year-old man shares his experience navigating family dynamics and relationship responsibilities during the holiday season. The situation revolves around his girlfriend’s illness and the tension of spending New Year’s Eve with his family.

  • The couple has been together for two years.
  • They spent Christmas with the girlfriend’s religious family, returning home on December 28th.
  • The plan was to celebrate Christmas with her family and New Year’s Eve with his own, who are not religious.
  • Upon returning, the man visited his family and learned that his girlfriend had fallen ill with a stomach flu.
  • He felt conflicted about leaving her alone on New Year’s Eve while wanting to spend time with his family.

As the day progressed, he struggled with feelings of guilt about potentially abandoning her during a difficult time. He reached out to her to discuss his dilemma:

  • His girlfriend reassured him that it was okay for him to attend the family gathering.
  • Despite her encouragement, he felt uneasy about leaving her sick and alone.

In an effort to address the situation, he considered the following:

  • He had been with his family since December 28th, raising questions about the risk of contagion.
  • His family members were not immunocompromised, and the gathering was small.

After receiving feedback from others, he decided to take action:

  • He ordered a care package for his girlfriend via Uber Eats, including medicine and comfort foods.
  • He rented movies for her to watch if she felt well enough.
  • He FaceTimed her to apologize and express his willingness to come over, but she insisted he should attend his family’s dinner.

Ultimately, he made plans to join his family for New Year’s Eve:

  • He intended to leave the gathering early to be with her at midnight.
  • His girlfriend coordinated with her concierge to ensure he could access her apartment, even if she was asleep.

In conclusion, the man felt grateful for the support and suggestions he received. He was optimistic about the New Year, believing that both he and his girlfriend would have a memorable celebration despite the circumstances.

Happy 2025!

This is Original story from Reddit

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Story

I, a 28M, and my girlfriend, a 26F, have been together for two years. This year, I traveled with her to visit her family for Christmas and spent a whole week with them celebrating, only getting back in town on the 28th. Part of this arrangement was that I would spend Christmas with her family since they are religious and NYE with mine since they are not.

When we got back, I immediately went to visit my family, and I’ve been at their place ever since. However, my girlfriend must have caught a bad stomach flu or something. She’s been very sick since we got back.

I was hoping she would feel better today, but as the day has gone on, I’m losing hope that she’ll be able to join us tonight. I feel awful leaving her alone at her place all night on NYE, but I do really want to spend time with my family. I’m feeling really conflicted about what to do.

I called her to ask if it was okay if I still went, and she said it was, but I’m feeling really guilty about leaving her alone sick on NYE. What should I do?

EDIT

I’ve been around my family since the 28th and haven’t seen my girlfriend since. If I am contagious, that ship has surely sailed? Also, no one in my family is immunocompromised.

It’s a small dinner, not a big party, with only my immediate family.

UPDATE

Thank you, everyone, for all your comments and good suggestions. I ordered my girlfriend a care package on Uber Eats, including medicine, Gatorade, Pedialyte, crackers, white rice, white bread, and various soups. I also rented a couple of new releases on YouTube for her to watch if she’s feeling well enough to look at the TV.

I FaceTimed her and apologized a lot, offering to come over again. She straight up said she will be mad at me if I don’t go to my family’s NYE dinner. I’m headed there now and plan to leave early to be with her at midnight.

She called and talked to her concierge to make sure I can get up even if she’s sleeping. I’m really thankful for all the good ideas, and she seemed so grateful and overwhelmed by my effort. You guys are the best; thank you for all the ideas.

I know this New Year’s is going to be great. Happy 2025!

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a general agreement that it is acceptable for the individual to attend the event since they received prior consent from the sick person. Users emphasize the importance of taking care of the sick individual by providing necessary supplies and ensuring they are comfortable while also suggesting that the attendee should avoid flaunting their enjoyment during the event. Overall, the comments reflect a balance between personal enjoyment and responsibility towards the sick person.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict During the Holidays

Navigating family dynamics, especially during the holiday season, can be challenging. In this situation, both the individual and his girlfriend have valid feelings and concerns. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the conflict while ensuring both parties feel heard and supported.

For the Individual

  • Communicate Openly: Continue to check in with your girlfriend about her well-being. Regular communication can help her feel supported, even from a distance.
  • Balance Your Time: Plan to spend quality time with your family while also setting aside time to be with your girlfriend. Leaving the gathering early, as you planned, is a great way to show you care.
  • Share Your Experience: When you return from the family gathering, share your experiences with your girlfriend. This can help her feel included and connected to your family traditions.

For the Girlfriend

  • Express Your Needs: If you feel unwell, it’s okay to express your needs clearly. Let your partner know if you would prefer him to stay or if you genuinely feel comfortable being alone.
  • Accept Help: Allow your partner to care for you, whether through sending supplies or checking in. Accepting help can strengthen your relationship.
  • Plan for Future Events: Discuss how you both can handle similar situations in the future. Establishing a plan can help alleviate anxiety during holidays or family gatherings.

For Both Parties

  • Set Boundaries: Agree on boundaries regarding how much time you will spend apart during family events, especially when one partner is unwell.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Both partners should prioritize self-care. The individual should enjoy their time with family without guilt, while the girlfriend should focus on her recovery.
  • Reflect Together: After the holiday season, take time to reflect on how you both handled the situation. Discuss what worked well and what could be improved for future occasions.

By following these steps, both partners can navigate their feelings and responsibilities effectively, ensuring a supportive and understanding relationship. Remember, the key is to maintain open communication and prioritize each other’s well-being.

Join the Discussion

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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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