Update: AITA For Barely Eating Any Of The Cake My Girlfriend Made Me...

Update: AITA for barely eating any of the cake my girlfriend made me…

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Relationships and Regrets Collide

In a tumultuous relationship marked by secrets and insecurities, a man grapples with the fallout of his past choices and the weight of his girlfriend’s expectations. After a failed marriage proposal and a painful breakup, he finds himself reflecting on his actions, including a history of deceit and the fear of passing on “bad” genes. As emotions boil over, a physical altercation leaves him injured and questioning his future. This story resonates with anyone who has faced the complexities of love, regret, and the struggle for self-acceptance in a judgmental world.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Wedding Proposal Gone Wrong

This story revolves around a complex relationship filled with family drama, personal struggles, and wedding tension. The narrator shares their experiences and feelings regarding a failed marriage proposal and the subsequent fallout.

Background: The narrator has a history of making adult videos and engaging in unethical behavior, such as scamming dates for credit card information to afford basic necessities. This past has led to feelings of paranoia and fear of social ostracism.
Relationship Struggles: The narrator’s girlfriend has rejected two marriage proposals. The reasons stem from concerns about potential genetic disabilities, as the narrator’s mother has a disability. The narrator desires to have children but fears passing on “bad” genes.
Conflict Escalation: To avoid confrontation, the narrator leaves a breakup note in the girlfriend’s lunch. This decision leads to unexpected consequences, as the girlfriend reacts with anger and seeks to discuss the situation.
Physical Altercation: During a heated argument, a physical fight ensues, resulting in the narrator breaking their forearm. This incident marks a low point in the relationship, leading to feelings of sadness and regret.
Aftermath: Following the altercation, the girlfriend decides to leave, giving the narrator three days to pack her belongings. The narrator contemplates whether to include the engagement ring in her things, feeling humiliated by the situation.
Social Media Fallout: The girlfriend posts about the breakup on social media, leading to mixed reactions from friends and family. The narrator receives angry messages from some of her friends, while others express sympathy.
Emotional Turmoil: The narrator feels guilty for disappointing the girlfriend’s family and struggles with their own emotions. They decide to take a break from dating to focus on personal happiness.

In conclusion, this story highlights the complexities of relationships, the impact of past actions on present circumstances, and the challenges of conflict resolution. The narrator’s journey reflects the emotional weight of family drama and the difficulty of navigating personal desires against societal expectations.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

Added context because the edit in my original post wasn’t clear. I added it in the comments, but in case it’s still confusing, it’s also here.

Since the post is already long, I guess I’ll comment instead. Maybe I’m just a terrible writer when I’m tired, but writing this a few hours ago felt like it would make sense, so sorry.

To make it make sense, I used to make adult videos mostly with other men, so I don’t want anyone to know. Second, I used to scam dates by using their credit card information online to buy textbooks and personal items because I could only really afford food. It was still bad, and sometimes I wonder if they didn’t eat so I could, and it makes me paranoid. Even if I can’t go to jail now, I can still be socially ostracized.

And plastic surgery is just that; if my social life is ruined, I can buy a new face and name. I was half joking.

Also, for those wondering, I didn’t mention the reason why my girlfriend rejected my marriage proposal twice. It’s because it sounds really bad to people who don’t understand what it’s like to live with someone disabled.

I love my mother dearly, but in all honesty, I would not want to have children like her. They won’t have an easy life, and that’s the reason basically; she thinks I might pass on “bad” genes. I’d like to try to have at least one child anyway because I don’t have any disabilities, so I’m hoping my child would be healthy as well.

But I don’t think not wanting to adopt or take a chance is a bad reason to reject someone. In any case, I decided to take the coward’s way out and leave for work excessively early to avoid her, and I put a breakup note in her lunch bag.

I’m expecting to feel awful later, so I think I’ll update again when I’m not sad, which takes me a while. And again, I’m sorry for rambling.

Another thing I also saw mentioned while reading replies is that “twin soul” is controversial, and I’m sorry; I wasn’t intentionally being misogynistic. I’ve just seen it used and thought it meant some of the same things as soul mate.

Actual Update

She read the note and wasn’t mad; she just said she wanted to talk things over. But when I got there, she was pretty mad because apparently her coworker saw the note, and how pathetic leaving a note is. In hindsight, I wasn’t thinking and agree.

The rest is just a blur. We got into a physical fight, which we’ve gotten into before, but never this bad, and I ended up breaking my forearm. She was throwing things as I was walking away, and I was crying, so I slipped.

Then the ride to the ER was probably the worst I’ve felt in my life. I was still crying while they were trying to ask me questions, and then they either gave me something or I passed out. Either way, when I woke up, she apologized, but I could tell she was still a little mad because she got food and didn’t offer me any.

After I got discharged, we got home, got into another argument, and I got mad and told her she could leave. Her sister lives less than an hour away, so she’d be fine. Eventually, she agreed to leave, but she left most of her things here.

She told me I have three days to pack up her stuff so her parents can come get it, which is fair, I guess. I’m wondering if I should pack the ring in with her stuff because looking at it now is humiliating.

Surprisingly, she only made two posts about it on social media, and it’s only very vaguely exposing things I’ve done. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, and most of my friends felt bad, but a few of her friends first blocked me or left me angry texts.

Her mom sent a voicemail crying and saying how disappointed they were in me, and honestly, I do feel a little bad for them because that’s their daughter. It must feel sad, but I really just want to leave her stuff outside without talking to them.

I haven’t told my mom anything yet because I know she’ll worry. I don’t have an appetite right now because there’s still leftover cake in the fridge, and looking at it just makes me tired.

I think I’m going to take a break from dating for a while and work on being happy alone because right now, all I want to do is call and apologize.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault (NTA) for wanting to end a toxic and abusive relationship. Many users emphasize the importance of prioritizing OP’s well-being, suggesting that he should not feel obligated to pack his ex’s belongings, especially given his injury. Additionally, there is a shared sentiment that OP deserves better treatment and should consider selling the engagement ring instead of giving it back.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict in relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially when emotions run high and past experiences complicate the situation. Here are some practical steps for both the narrator and the girlfriend to consider in order to navigate this difficult time and work towards resolution.

For the Narrator

Prioritize Healing: Focus on your physical and emotional recovery. Allow yourself time to heal from the injury and the emotional turmoil of the breakup.
Reflect on the Relationship: Take time to think about what went wrong and what you want in future relationships. Consider seeking therapy to process your feelings and gain clarity.
Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, reach out to your ex-girlfriend to discuss the breakup. Aim for a calm conversation where both parties can express their feelings without escalating tensions.
Set Boundaries: If communication with your ex becomes toxic or unproductive, it’s okay to set boundaries. Protect your mental health by limiting contact if necessary.
Consider the Engagement Ring: Reflect on what the engagement ring symbolizes for you. If it brings up negative feelings, consider selling it or donating it rather than returning it to your ex.

For the Girlfriend

Process Your Emotions: Allow yourself to feel and process the emotions surrounding the breakup. Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help you work through your feelings.
Seek Understanding: Try to understand the narrator’s perspective and the reasons behind their actions. This can help foster empathy and reduce anger.
Communicate Constructively: If you wish to discuss the breakup, approach the conversation with a focus on understanding rather than blame. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without attacking the other person.
Reflect on Your Needs: Consider what you truly want in a partner and a relationship. This reflection can guide you in future relationships and help you avoid similar conflicts.
Limit Social Media Drama: Avoid posting about the breakup on social media, as it can escalate tensions and lead to misunderstandings. Instead, confide in close friends or family.

Moving Forward

Both parties should focus on personal growth and healing. Relationships can be complex, and it’s essential to learn from experiences to foster healthier connections in the future. Seeking professional help, whether through therapy or support groups, can provide valuable tools for navigating emotional challenges and improving communication skills.