Fiancé won’t stop drinking alcohol… is this ok

Fiancé won’t stop drinking alcohol… is this ok

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A Tough Pact: Navigating Love and Addiction

When a night out takes a dangerous turn, one man finds himself grappling with the consequences of his fiancée’s alcohol-induced seizure. After years of heavy drinking, she insists on a “safer” approach, but their agreement to quit drinking hangs in the balance. As he navigates her blame and his own concerns, the situation raises questions about accountability and support in relationships. This story resonates with anyone who’s faced the challenges of addiction and the complexities of love, making it a thought-provoking read.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Wedding Tension Story

Recently, a couple faced a significant challenge in their long-term relationship, which has led to family drama and tension as they approach their wedding. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

  • Background: The couple, aged 31 and 33, has been together for 13 years and is currently engaged.
  • Incident: Last week, while preparing to go out for a meal, the fiancée experienced a seizure induced by excessive alcohol consumption.
  • Health Concerns: After regaining consciousness, she refused to go to the hospital, insisting she was fine despite having consumed a significant amount of alcohol the night before.
  • Drinking History: The fiancée has a history of heavy drinking, previously consuming a fifth of alcohol daily.
  • Current Situation: Post-seizure, she has reduced her alcohol intake to wine, claiming it is difficult for her to quit entirely.
  • Blame Game: She has expressed resentment towards her partner, stating that if he hadn’t encouraged her to go out, she wouldn’t have had the seizure.

This situation has created a conflict that needs resolution, especially with their wedding approaching. Here are some considerations for moving forward:

  1. Open Communication: It’s essential for both partners to discuss their feelings openly. The fiancée should express her struggles with alcohol, while the partner can share his concerns about her health.
  2. Seek Professional Help: Consulting a healthcare professional or a counselor may provide the fiancée with the support she needs to address her drinking habits.
  3. Revisit the Pact: The couple should revisit their agreement to stop drinking and discuss realistic goals that consider her current challenges.
  4. Set Boundaries: Establishing boundaries around alcohol consumption can help both partners feel more secure in their relationship.
  5. Focus on Support: The partner should focus on being supportive rather than placing blame, which can help alleviate tension and foster a healthier environment.

As they navigate this family drama and wedding tension, it’s crucial for both partners to work together towards conflict resolution. By addressing the underlying issues and supporting each other, they can strengthen their relationship and prepare for their future together.

This is Original story from Reddit

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Story

Hey, so recently, just last week, as me, 31, and my fiancée, age 33, we’ve been together for 13 years, we were headed out to eat. She had a seizure that was induced by alcohol. She didn’t want to go to the hospital after regaining consciousness and just told EMS, “she’s good.”

She told me the night before she didn’t eat and had at least three pints of tequila and rum mixed straight, so she woke up with a hangover. She used to drink alcohol every single day, at least a fifth a day. Now, after the seizure, she’s back to just drinking wine, as she claims, but does it outside.

We both made a pact to stop drinking at all, but she says it’s not easy for her to go cold turkey, and she will just have a wine each day. She’s also blaming me because she said if I didn’t pressure her to go out, then she wouldn’t have had a seizure. Not sure what to do.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the fiancé is struggling with alcohol dependency, which is evidenced by her seizure and continued drinking despite agreeing to stop. Users emphasize the necessity of professional medical help for her detoxification process, as going cold turkey can be dangerous and potentially life-threatening. Many commenters also highlight the importance of the fiancé taking responsibility for her recovery, suggesting that the original poster should consider their own well-being in this situation.

Verdict: YTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

In navigating the complexities of this situation, it’s essential to approach the conflict with empathy and understanding. Both partners are facing significant challenges, and addressing these issues requires a collaborative effort. Here are practical steps to help resolve the conflict:

  1. Initiate a Calm Conversation: Set aside time for an open and honest discussion. Choose a neutral environment where both partners feel comfortable. The goal is to express feelings without judgment. The fiancée should share her struggles with alcohol, while the partner can voice his concerns about her health and their future together.
  2. Encourage Professional Support: Gently suggest that the fiancée seek help from a healthcare professional or counselor specializing in addiction. Emphasize that this is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that professional guidance can provide her with the tools needed for recovery.
  3. Reassess Drinking Agreements: Together, revisit any previous agreements about alcohol consumption. Discuss what realistic goals look like for both partners, considering her current challenges. This could involve setting limits on drinking or exploring alternative social activities that don’t revolve around alcohol.
  4. Establish Healthy Boundaries: Both partners should agree on boundaries regarding alcohol use. This could mean agreeing to avoid certain situations that may trigger excessive drinking or creating a plan for social outings that prioritize sobriety.
  5. Focus on Support and Accountability: The partner should aim to be a source of support rather than blame. This includes checking in on the fiancée’s progress and celebrating small victories in her journey towards recovery. Both partners should hold each other accountable in a loving and constructive manner.
  6. Plan for the Future: Discuss how both partners envision their life together post-wedding. This includes addressing how they will handle alcohol in their relationship moving forward and ensuring that both feel secure and supported in their choices.
  7. Consider Couples Counseling: If tensions remain high, seeking couples counseling can provide a safe space for both partners to express their feelings and work through their issues with the guidance of a professional.

By taking these steps, both partners can work towards a healthier relationship dynamic. It’s important to remember that recovery is a journey, and supporting each other through this process can strengthen their bond as they prepare for their future together.

Join the Discussion

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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
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