AITAH For Telling My Bio Father To Get F***ed And Then Go F*** Himself After He Tried To Ask For Money.

AITAH for telling my bio father to get fed and then go f himself after he tried to ask for money.

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Family Ties Become Toxic

In a gripping tale of betrayal and resilience, a young man grapples with the emotional scars left by his neglectful father, who only resurfaces when he needs something. After years of manipulation and absence, the protagonist finds himself at a crossroads when his estranged father asks for financial help, igniting a fierce internal conflict about loyalty and responsibility. This story resonates deeply with anyone who has navigated complicated family dynamics, especially in a culture where parental expectations can weigh heavily on one’s sense of self-worth. Can he break free from the cycle of toxicity, or will guilt pull him back in?

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Complex Relationship

The story revolves around a complicated relationship between a young man and his biological father, whom we will refer to as “Dick.” The narrative highlights themes of family drama, emotional turmoil, and the struggle for conflict resolution.

Background: The narrator’s parents separated when he was a baby due to Dick’s abusive behavior, including an incident where he assaulted the narrator’s mother. Following the separation, the narrator was raised by his mother, who later remarried and provided a stable environment with a loving stepfather.
Inconsistent Presence: Dick was largely absent during the narrator’s childhood, appearing only sporadically and often attempting to manipulate the narrator against his mother. This inconsistency left the narrator feeling neglected and unworthy of his father’s attention.
Traumatic Experiences: At 16, Dick introduced the narrator to alcohol and took him to a brothel, leading to lasting emotional scars and difficulties in future relationships. This event marked a significant turning point in the narrator’s life, contributing to feelings of anger and sadness.
Attempts at Reconnection: After years of silence, Dick reappeared on the narrator’s 21st birthday, promising to start anew. However, the narrator found himself reaching out more often, leading to frustration and disappointment when Dick failed to reciprocate.
Struggles with Mental Health: The narrator faced severe emotional challenges, including two suicide attempts, which resulted in time spent in psychiatric wards. During this period, his stepfather provided crucial support, emphasizing that he was loved regardless of Dick’s presence.
Personal Growth: After receiving counseling and support from his stepfather, the narrator began to heal and focus on his own life. He achieved significant personal and professional success, including a well-paying job and plans for future investments.
Recent Contact: Years later, Dick reached out for financial assistance, claiming the narrator owed him for his upbringing. The narrator reacted strongly, expressing his disdain for Dick’s request and ultimately blocking him on social media.
Ethical Dilemma: The narrator grapples with feelings of guilt regarding his siblings, who may be affected by Dick’s financial struggles. He questions whether he was justified in his harsh response or if he should consider helping his half-siblings despite his negative feelings toward Dick.

This story encapsulates the complexities of familial relationships, the impact of past trauma, and the ongoing struggle for conflict resolution. The narrator’s journey reflects a path toward self-acceptance and the importance of surrounding oneself with supportive figures, ultimately leading to a healthier emotional state.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

My biological father, 56M, we will call him Dick for good measure, has been a useless father for my entire life. My parents split when I was just a baby. Dick and my mother were at the pub drinking; he wanted to drive home, but my mother wanted to get a taxi.

After a big argument, Dick slapped my mother and then punched her in the stomach. My mother called the cops, and he was arrested for assault and drunken disorderly behavior. My mother picked me up from the babysitter and moved back in with my grandparents, which is in another city.

Growing up, Dick was in and out of my life. When I did see him, he would often try to manipulate me against my mother, saying she took too much money from him due to child support and that she was a manipulative woman I should never trust. I would only see him twice a year during school holidays.

My mother, a single woman, brought me up until I was six, and my little brother was born when I was six years old to a different man, who left as soon as he found out she was pregnant. My mother met an amazing guy who eventually became my stepfather. He treated me and my brother as his own kids.

He is amazing, and I can only wish to be half the man he is. So I am lucky to have a stable male influence in my life. At the age of 16, Dick got me drunk for the first time and drove us to a brothel where I lost my virginity.

This has made my relationships with women difficult, as I lost my innocence in such a scarring way. As a kid, he wasn’t present; he just would turn up in my life when it was convenient. He never attended sports games, wasn’t there when I needed advice, called me names when I broke bones, and would still try to manipulate me against my parents.

After this, Dick moved to another country, remarried, and had another six children. I didn’t hear from him until my 21st birthday. In my country, 21st birthdays are a big deal, and he decided to turn up, paying for everything and showing off how well he was doing.

We spoke to each other during this time, agreeing to start anew, and I thought this would be a nice fresh start. But again, he didn’t communicate with me; it was always me that had to reach out to him. Eventually, I just stopped trying; it made me too angry and sad, always thinking about how he would never make an effort for me.

And remembering the years where he wouldn’t acknowledge me, talk to me, or acknowledge important occasions, including birthdays and Christmas, only turning up when it suited him. I felt like it was my fault and that I wasn’t good enough for him, always seeking that approval. As time went on during the year of me turning 21, I was lost in my anger, sadness, and heavy emotion.

I attempted suicide by ingesting over 100 pills and swallowing them with a bottle of vodka. I just wanted the pain to end and go away. I ended up being in the local psychiatric ward for two weeks.

I refused therapy because I wanted to fight for myself and prove to Dick that I was better than him. When I turned 23, Dick called me out of the blue, asking me to move to this other country with him and work to earn some “real money.” He said he wanted to get to know me.

I had a good job and some good friends at the time. I said I would think about it and get back to him. After some thinking, I called him, saying I couldn’t leave my friends, family, and my job.

He told me I was useless and was going nowhere in life. He said I would be stuck in poverty for the rest of my life. At that point, I snapped and lost my shit; I called him a useless father and that he had already gone nowhere in life, and his only talent was breeding.

I told him to never contact me again. After that, I started smoking a lot of cannabis. I never smoked it before work, but I smoked it as soon as I got home and on the weekends.

I spent thousands of dollars a month smoking just to escape my brain and emotions. After a significant breakup with a girlfriend, I tried to commit suicide for the second time. This time, I was in the psychiatric ward for four weeks.

After this, my stepfather sat me down and told me I needed to get help and work on my feelings. He said he didn’t want to lose me and that I was his son, no matter if Dick was in the picture or not. I reflected on these words; for ten years, my stepfather had been there for me.

And I realized he was the father I always thought Dick should have been. I realized that my stepfather is my actual father. After this chat, I got counseling and attended regular sessions; this helped me learn how to deal with my emotions and accept that I didn’t need anyone’s approval.

I learned that I should live for myself and no one else. I have been doing pretty well for the past 11 years without having anything to do with Dick. I got a really good job, earning well into the six-figure range without a university degree; I have bought a house, a new car, great friends, a supportive family, and I will be looking at purchasing some investment properties in the coming weeks.

A few days ago, I received a Facebook message from Dick asking if he could call. Curiosity got the better of me, so I called him through the Facebook app. He asked me how I was doing and what I was doing; I knew this was small talk, so I asked him what he wanted.

He explained that he was having financial issues raising six children and wanted me to provide him with some support because that’s what he did for me growing up and that I owed him for that money. I chuckled and told him to get fed, that he could go fuck himself and eat a bag of dicks. He started trying to guilt-trip me, saying he gave so much money to my childhood and that it was my responsibility to help my siblings.

I hung up and blocked him. I am in a situation where I could help him, but I don’t want to because he is a useless prick. But on the other hand, I think about my siblings and what they must be going through.

I don’t know what to do. AITAH for telling my bio father to eat a bag of dicks after asking for money for his six children?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around NTA due to the father’s history of neglect and manipulation, as well as the user’s hard work in building their own life. Most users agree that the user is justified in prioritizing their own well-being and not feeling obligated to support a father who has not earned their respect or trust.

The father is seen as abusive and manipulative, attempting to guilt the user into providing financial support.
The stepfather is recognized as the true father figure, reinforcing the user’s decision to distance themselves from their biological father.

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Family conflicts, especially those rooted in past trauma, can be incredibly challenging to navigate. In this situation, both the narrator and Dick have their perspectives shaped by their experiences. Here are some practical steps for addressing the conflict while considering both sides:

Self-Reflection: The narrator should take time to reflect on their feelings towards Dick and the impact of their past experiences. Understanding their emotions can help clarify their boundaries and what they want moving forward.
Open Communication: If the narrator feels comfortable, they could consider reaching out to Dick for a candid conversation. This could involve expressing their feelings about past trauma and the recent request for financial help. Clear communication can sometimes lead to unexpected resolutions.
Set Boundaries: It’s essential for the narrator to establish and communicate clear boundaries regarding their relationship with Dick. This includes what kind of contact they are willing to have and under what circumstances, ensuring their emotional well-being is prioritized.
Consider Half-Siblings: The narrator might want to think about their half-siblings and whether they wish to maintain a relationship with them. If they choose to help, it could be done independently of Dick, ensuring that the support does not enable his manipulative behavior.
Seek Professional Guidance: Engaging with a therapist or counselor can provide valuable support in processing feelings about Dick and navigating the complexities of family dynamics. Professional guidance can help the narrator develop coping strategies and improve their emotional resilience.
Focus on Personal Growth: Continuing to invest in personal development and maintaining a strong support system, including the stepfather, can empower the narrator. Celebrating their achievements and surrounding themselves with positive influences will reinforce their self-worth.
Evaluate Future Interactions: If the narrator decides to maintain some level of contact with Dick, they should regularly evaluate how these interactions affect their mental health. It’s okay to step back if the relationship becomes toxic again.

Ultimately, the narrator has the right to prioritize their well-being and make choices that align with their values. Healing from past trauma is a journey, and it’s important to surround oneself with supportive and loving individuals.