AITAH For Stealing My Violent Schizophrenic Uncle’s Dog And Not Wanting To Give Him Back?

AITAH for stealing my violent schizophrenic uncle’s dog and not wanting to give him back?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Family Ties and Tough Choices: A Heart-Wrenching Dilemma

When a woman grapples with the return of her dangerously unstable uncle, who has a history of violence and abuse, she faces an impossible choice: should she keep his traumatized dog or return it to him out of empathy? As her mother shifts from fear to compassion for the uncle’s mental illness, the protagonist feels torn between her own traumatic past and the potential consequences of her actions. This story resonates with anyone who has navigated the complexities of family loyalty, mental health, and the struggle to protect loved ones while grappling with the moral implications of their decisions.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Difficult Decision

In a complex family situation, a woman is grappling with the implications of her uncle’s severe mental illness and the impact it has on her life and the lives of those around her. The following points outline the key elements of the conflict:

Background on the Uncle: The uncle, 42 years old, suffers from multiple severe mental health issues, including narcissistic personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. His mental health has deteriorated over the years, leading to violent and delusional behavior.
Recent Incidents:
- He was evicted for violent behavior, including an incident involving a dog.
- He has made threats against family members and others, leading to fear and trauma within the family.
- His erratic behavior includes stalking neighbors and making bizarre claims about being poisoned.
Current Situation: After being temporarily housed with his grandmother, he was given a new home by the local housing authority. However, he left this home due to paranoia and walked to his grandmother’s house, prompting concern from the family.
Dog Ownership: The woman took in her uncle’s dog, Pippin, after he was evaluated at a mental health facility. Pippin is showing signs of trauma, and the woman is conflicted about whether to keep him or return him to her uncle.
Family Dynamics: The woman’s mother, who has also suffered from the uncle’s behavior, is advocating for empathy towards him and believes he deserves his dog back. This perspective shift has caused tension and confusion for the woman, who feels betrayed by her mother’s stance.
Personal Struggles: The woman is dealing with her own mental health issues and feels that her uncle’s behavior cannot be excused by his diagnoses. She is distressed by her mother’s change of heart and fears for her safety and the safety of others.
Support System: The woman’s boyfriend is extremely upset about the situation, which adds to her emotional turmoil. She feels overwhelmed and uncertain about the right course of action.

This family drama highlights the challenges of conflict resolution in the face of mental illness. The woman is seeking insight and guidance on how to navigate her feelings and the potential consequences of her decisions regarding Pippin and her uncle.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

My uncle, who I used to live with as a kid, is 42 and severely mentally ill. He is on disability for it. He has narcissistic personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, BPD, and a psych records book as big as the Bible.

I haven’t seen him in two years, but my mom, grandmother, and sibling have seen him recently. His schizophrenia has gotten worse over the last couple of years, and he’s become extremely delusional and violent. He got evicted from his old apartment after beating a woman’s dog because it wasn’t on a leash.

He was shot in the neck by his neighbor, still has the bullet there, and doesn’t remember it or what he did to get shot. He got upset at a Netflix representative over LGBT content being in a show and threatened to cook her up and eat her with some butter. He stalked and harassed his neighbors to the point his old apartment complex was collectively traumatized and still calls my grandmother to make sure he’s nowhere near them.

He has THREATENED TO KILL US, and the police won’t do anything about it. They say he seems innocent, like a nice guy; they don’t get why we want to take his freedom away. This man severely abused my siblings and me, as well as my mother, in every imaginable capacity, as well as any animals he was around.

He beat my dogs as a child; I helplessly watched, even over small grievances, and recently harmed my grandmother’s dog, which led her to temporarily kick him out. He is a danger to everyone around him. Last week, he got a new house, which was long awaited because he was living with my grandmother, and he was stalking her, listening through the door, and showing intent to harm or kill her, saying she was demonic in nature and that she was evil.

A few days ago, he left his new home that the local housing authority gave him because he said the closets were rigged and they were poisoning him with radiation through his router. He said planes were flying over him and dropping radiation on him. He walked over 20 miles from his new house to my town with his dog Pippin and started knocking on my grandmother’s door again.

After some convincing, shockingly, for the first time in a long time, he agreed to go get evaluated. He was taken in an ambulance to a local mental health facility, and with his and my mother’s consent, I took his dog as soon as he left. At first, my mom was in support of me taking him permanently, which I planned on, as my boyfriend and I are moving in together and getting our own apartment this month.

Pippin is severely traumatized and showing symptoms of PTSD. I do not want to give him back, but I fear there will be serious consequences if I don’t, such as my uncle trying to harm me or someone else in an attempt to get him back. My mother is saying it’s very possible I will have to give him back even if my uncle doesn’t do anything of that nature because she said it might be the right thing to do.

This is really baffling to me because my mother has witnessed and experienced the same horrors from him as I have, but she says Pippin is all he has in the world and I need to find some empathy for the mentally ill. She has been talking on the phone with him again, which she has avoided for years. She said she’s had a change of perspective, believing my uncle deserves empathy now and that maybe he isn’t just a bad person, just schizophrenic.

This really upset me because I also have schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, and I know that this diagnosis is NEVER an excuse for the behavior he’s engaged in. This is the man who I am certain sexually abused my brothers and me as children, and my mother is defending him and saying he deserves his dog back after he has shown time and time again over the two decades I have been alive that he will never get better or improve himself. He has become SUBSTANTIALLY worse since the first two texts where he was threatening to kill my grandmother, and every time he seems to be getting better, it never lasts more than a month.

When I informed my boyfriend about this, he got angrier than I have ever seen him, and it scared me. He is very upset about it all. I have been crying about it all day. I don’t know what to do; I really don’t. Please offer some sort of insight into this situation. I feel like I’m being a bitch or like I’m being dramatic.

Texts from him can be found on my profile.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments strongly advocate for not returning the dog to its previous owner, emphasizing the need for a stable and loving environment for the animal. Many users express concern for the dog’s well-being, highlighting the potential for abuse if it were to go back to its former home. Additionally, there are suggestions for legal steps to take, such as microchipping the dog and consulting with animal control to establish ownership.

Overall Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict

Navigating family dynamics, especially when mental health issues are involved, can be incredibly challenging. Here are some practical steps to help you address the situation with empathy and care for both your uncle and Pippin, the dog.

Understanding Both Sides

It’s essential to recognize the complexities of the situation:

Your Uncle: His mental health issues are severe and can lead to unpredictable behavior. While he deserves compassion, his actions have consequences that affect the safety and well-being of others.
Pippin: The dog’s well-being is paramount. Animals can suffer from trauma just like humans, and returning Pippin to an unstable environment could lead to further distress or harm.
Your Family Dynamics: Your mother’s shift in perspective may stem from a desire to support family, but it can feel like a betrayal given the history of your uncle’s behavior. Open communication is key here.

Practical Steps to Consider

Assess Pippin’s Needs: Consult with a veterinarian or animal behaviorist to evaluate Pippin’s mental and physical health. Understanding his needs will help you make an informed decision about his future.
Communicate Openly with Your Mother: Have a candid conversation with your mother about her feelings and concerns. Share your perspective and the reasons behind your hesitation to return Pippin. Aim for a dialogue rather than a confrontation.
Explore Legal Options: If you decide that keeping Pippin is in his best interest, consider legal steps to establish ownership. Microchipping the dog and consulting with local animal control can provide clarity and protection.
Set Boundaries with Your Uncle: If you feel comfortable, communicate with your uncle about the situation. Be clear about your concerns for both Pippin and your family’s safety. It may be necessary to set firm boundaries regarding his access to the dog.
Seek Professional Guidance: Consider involving a family therapist or mediator who specializes in mental health issues. They can facilitate discussions and help navigate the emotional complexities of the situation.
Prioritize Your Well-Being: Remember to take care of your own mental health. Engage in self-care practices and seek support from friends, your boyfriend, or a mental health professional to help you cope with the stress of the situation.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the decision regarding Pippin should prioritize his safety and well-being while also considering the complexities of your family dynamics. By approaching the situation with empathy and clear communication, you can work towards a resolution that respects both your uncle’s struggles and Pippin’s needs.