AITA for lying to my gf about movies i’ve seen?

AITA for lying to my gf about movies i’ve seen?

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When Love for Movies Sparks a Dilemma

A cinephile finds himself in a tricky situation with his girlfriend, who refuses to watch any movie he’s already seen. While he understands her desire for a shared experience, he can’t help but feel frustrated as she misses out on cinematic gems. To keep the peace, he resorts to bending the truth about his movie-watching history, leading to a moral quandary. This relatable story raises questions about honesty in relationships and the sacrifices we make for love.

Family Drama Over Movie Choices

A 24-year-old man (referred to as “me”) and his 25-year-old girlfriend have a shared passion for watching movies together. However, a conflict has arisen due to differing preferences regarding movie-watching experiences.

  • Background: The couple has been together for nearly three years. The man identifies as a cinephile, having watched numerous classic films over the years.
  • Issue: The girlfriend refuses to watch any movie that the man has already seen. This creates tension as she misses out on many acclaimed films.
  • Understanding: The girlfriend’s reasoning stems from her desire to experience the movie together without prior knowledge of the plot. While the man understands this perspective, he finds it frustrating.
  • Personal Preference: The man enjoys rewatching films and has no issue with watching movies he has already seen. He believes that sharing these experiences could enhance their relationship.

In an attempt to resolve the situation, the man has resorted to a questionable tactic:

  • Deception: He has started to lie about whether he has seen certain movies. When his girlfriend asks, he claims he hasn’t seen them, suggesting he has heard good things instead.
  • Outcome: This approach has led to the girlfriend watching and enjoying films that the man has already seen, which he finds rewarding despite feeling guilty about the dishonesty.

To clarify, the man does not disrupt the viewing experience by talking through the movies or revealing plot points. He remains engaged and respectful during the film, treating it as if it were a new experience for both of them.

  • Conflict Resolution: The man is now questioning whether his actions are justified or if he is being deceitful. He seeks advice on whether he is in the wrong for lying to facilitate their movie nights.

This situation highlights the complexities of family drama and the challenges of conflict resolution in relationships, particularly when it comes to shared interests like movie-watching. The couple’s differing views on experiencing films together have led to a moral dilemma for the man, who is torn between honesty and the desire to share enjoyable moments with his girlfriend.

This is Original story from Reddit

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Story

Me, 24M, and my girlfriend, 25F, love watching movies together. The issue is that I am kind of a cinephile and have watched tons of movies, especially ones considered classics. We’ve been together for almost 3 years now, and even before we were together, I was an avid movie watcher.

The problem is that she will straight up refuse to watch a movie with me that I have already seen, which is kind of annoying to me. She’s missing out on so many good movies simply because she wants to experience a movie with me and have us both oblivious to the events of said movie. I mean, I can understand, but she’s refusing to watch really great movies because I’ve already seen them.

I personally have no problem watching movies I’ve already seen; I mean, I do it all the time anyway. So recently, I have started to say, “Hey, I have a movie we can watch,” and when she asks if I’ve seen it, I lie and say something along the lines of, “No, but I’ve heard good things,” or “No, but my friend told me it’s really good.” I kind of feel shitty for this, but then she ends up watching the movie and really enjoying it.

AITA?

Edited: To those asking if I’m one of those annoying people that talk through movies they’ve already seen, like trying to explain something or saying things like, “Oh, this part is crazy,” I do not. I’ve always simply stayed quiet while watching a movie I’ve already seen, or if she brings up her opinions, I simply say, “I guess we’ll see,” or something along those lines. I’ve never been one of those people that are irritating while watching a movie I’ve seen or on my phone; I just watch the movie with her as if I’ve never seen it as well.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a shared frustration regarding the girlfriend’s rigid stance on movie watching, with many users suggesting that open communication and compromise are essential. While some commenters empathize with the girlfriend’s perspective, they emphasize that honesty is crucial in a relationship and that the boyfriend should express his love for rewatching films. Overall, there is a consensus that the couple may need to reassess their compatibility if they cannot find a middle ground.

  • Verdict: ESH

Expert Advice for Resolving the Movie-Watching Conflict

In relationships, differing preferences can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. In this case, both partners have valid perspectives regarding their movie-watching habits. Here are some practical steps to help resolve the conflict while addressing both sides:

For the Boyfriend:

  • Communicate Openly: Share your feelings about rewatching films and why it brings you joy. Explain that experiencing a movie together can still be meaningful, even if you’ve seen it before.
  • Respect Her Perspective: Acknowledge her desire for a fresh experience. Let her know you understand her viewpoint and appreciate her passion for discovering new films.
  • Suggest Compromise: Propose a system where you alternate between movies you’ve seen and ones she hasn’t. This way, she can enjoy new films while you can still share some of your favorites.
  • Be Honest: While it may seem harmless to lie about having seen a movie, honesty is crucial in a relationship. Consider discussing your previous deception and express your desire to be truthful moving forward.

For the Girlfriend:

  • Consider Flexibility: Reflect on the reasons behind your preference for watching only new films. Is there room for compromise? Could rewatching a film together enhance your connection?
  • Engage in Dialogue: Share your feelings about wanting to experience movies without prior knowledge. Discuss why this is important to you and how it affects your movie nights.
  • Explore New Genres: Suggest exploring genres or films that neither of you has seen. This can create a shared experience without the pressure of rewatching.
  • Be Open to His Suggestions: If he suggests a film he loves, consider giving it a chance. You might find that his enthusiasm for the film enhances your viewing experience.

For Both Partners:

  • Set Aside Time for Discussion: Schedule a time to talk about your movie-watching preferences without distractions. This can help both of you express your feelings and find common ground.
  • Establish Boundaries: Agree on certain films that are off-limits for rewatching and others that can be revisited. This can help create a balance that respects both of your preferences.
  • Focus on the Experience: Remember that the goal is to enjoy each other’s company. Emphasize the importance of the shared experience over the specific film being watched.
  • Reassess Compatibility: If you find it challenging to reach a compromise, consider whether your differing preferences are indicative of larger compatibility issues. It’s essential to ensure that both partners feel valued and understood.

By approaching the situation with empathy and a willingness to compromise, both partners can work towards a solution that enhances their relationship and movie-watching experiences together.

Join the Discussion

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What do you think? Would you have handled this differently?
Share your thoughts below! Vote: Do you agree with Reddit’s verdict?

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