AITA For Ignoring My Mom

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When Family Bonds Fray: A Heart-Wrenching Struggle

In a raw and emotional tale, a young person grapples with the fallout of hurtful words from their mother, who lashes out during a family disagreement. As they navigate feelings of resentment and longing for connection, the story reveals the complexities of familial love and the pain of feeling unworthy. With a birthday approaching and a mother seemingly indifferent, the struggle for understanding and reconciliation becomes even more poignant. This relatable narrative resonates with anyone who has faced the challenges of communication and emotional turmoil within their own family dynamics.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Difficult Mother-Child Relationship

In a recent family drama, a young individual has found themselves in a painful conflict with their mother. The situation escalated over a series of misunderstandings and hurtful exchanges, leading to significant emotional turmoil.

New Year’s Eve Incident:
- The mother reacted harshly, expressing regret over having given birth and labeling the child as a “bad child.”
- Despite the hurtful words, the individual forgave their mother, hoping to mend the relationship.
Subsequent Conflict:
- A disagreement arose when the individual mentioned they would brush their teeth later.
- The mother again lashed out, declaring the individual disrespectful and canceling a planned outing.
- This cancellation left the individual feeling miserable, especially after looking forward to the event for weeks.
Discovery of Deception:
- The next day, the individual discovered their mother had gone out with their father, despite her earlier claims.
- Text messages revealed that the mother had been discussing the situation with her siblings, twisting the narrative to garner sympathy.
- Advice from the mother’s brother suggested she should try to understand her child’s perspective, but no effort was made.
Emotional Struggles:
- For nearly four days, the individual has felt a mix of anger and sadness, struggling with feelings of hatred towards their mother.
- They expressed feelings of jealousy towards a cousin who receives better treatment from the mother.
- The individual believes they are a good child, citing good grades and respectful behavior.
Impact of Ignoring:
- When the mother ignores the individual, she also withholds food, leading to hunger and sadness.
- The individual lacks cooking skills, as their mother never taught them, resulting in feelings of helplessness.
- Attempts to discuss the mother’s mental health have been met with anger, further complicating their relationship.
Upcoming Events:
- The anniversary of the mother’s mother’s death is approaching, adding to the emotional tension.
- The individual’s birthday is also near, but the mother appears indifferent, raising concerns about their relationship.

This situation highlights the complexities of family dynamics and the challenges of conflict resolution. The individual is left grappling with their feelings, hoping for a resolution while feeling trapped in a cycle of hurt and misunderstanding.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I don’t really know where to start, but these past few days I have been ignoring my mom. It kind of started on New Year’s Eve, and my parents wanted to go out. I didn’t feel like going, so I told my mom I didn’t want to go.

She then started lashing out with a bunch of hurtful words a mother should never say to her child. She told me she wished she had never given birth to me, that I ruin every family outing, and that I don’t deserve anything good because I am a bad child. After having a good cry about those words, I forgave her.

I hate getting in a fight with my mom, especially because I’m an only child and don’t have anyone else to talk to in the household. A few days later, I got on her nerves again because I told her I would brush my teeth later instead of right now. She lashed out on me AGAIN.

She told me that I was disrespectful and that I was to never talk to her again. She canceled the outing we were supposed to go on to teach me a lesson. After that is when I felt most miserable, especially because I had been looking forward to that outing for weeks, only for her to cancel it over a small disagreement.

The next day, I woke up to her gone. She has two phones, so I went through the one she left behind. I read through her texts and found out she and my dad had gone out.

I also found out that she’s been twisting the story to her siblings and my dad. Her brother gave her some advice on how to deal with this situation: to talk to me and try to understand why. Yet she did not do anything.

It’s been almost 4 days since that, and as much as I want to talk to her, I also hate her. I hate her for saying she wishes she never gave birth to me. I hate her for canceling what was supposed to be a fun day.

I hate her for making me miserable. The past few days, I have been getting little to no sleep in hopes of destroying myself. I pray and I pray, yet nothing happens.

I want to talk to her, but her actions speak to me as if she doesn’t want to be near me. My cousin comes to our house once in a while, and I can’t help but feel jealous because my mom treats her better than she ever treated me. I don’t know why she treats me like garbage.

I am a good kid, I swear, I hope? I don’t smoke, I don’t sneak out, I get good grades, and I’m nice to people. I also wanted to add that when she ignores me, she doesn’t let me eat. Like, at all.

The first day after our little disagreement, I didn’t eat at all. I don’t know how to cook because she never taught me anything. I just laid in bed, hungry and sad.

I have told her sometimes that I think she needs help mentally, as her childhood is pretty messed up, but she takes it as an insult and calls me disrespectful. I’ve been trying to be more understanding with her since the death anniversary of her mother is coming up. But so is my birthday, and she doesn’t look like she’s excited for that.

Also, sorry for kind of turning this into a rant, but yeah lol.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the individual is not at fault (NTA) for their situation, emphasizing the importance of seeking help and reporting the abusive behavior of their mother. Many users suggest taking proactive steps, such as recording incidents, informing trusted adults, and pursuing therapy to address the emotional and physical neglect experienced. Overall, the comments highlight the necessity of reaching out for support and taking control of one’s well-being.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict

Family conflicts, especially those involving deep emotional wounds, can be incredibly challenging to navigate. It’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and a willingness to understand both perspectives. Here are some practical steps for resolving the conflict between the individual and their mother:

Steps for the Individual

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take time to understand your emotions. Journaling can help clarify your thoughts and feelings about the situation.
Communicate Openly: When you feel ready, try to have a calm conversation with your mother. Use “I” statements to express how her actions affect you, such as “I feel hurt when you say I’m a bad child.”
Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behaviors are unacceptable. For example, let her know that name-calling is not acceptable and that you need space when conflicts arise.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your experiences. They can provide perspective and emotional support.
Document Incidents: Keep a record of hurtful exchanges and behaviors. This can be helpful if you decide to seek professional help or need to explain your situation to others.
Consider Professional Help: Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. It can also help you learn effective communication techniques.

Steps for the Mother

Self-Reflection: Encourage your mother to reflect on her behavior and the impact it has on you. This may require her to confront uncomfortable truths about her actions.
Open Dialogue: Suggest that she initiates a conversation with you, expressing her feelings and listening to yours. This can help bridge the gap between your perspectives.
Seek Professional Help: Encourage her to consider therapy to address her own emotional struggles. A professional can help her understand her behavior and improve her relationship with you.
Practice Empathy: Remind her to try to see things from your perspective. Understanding your feelings can help her respond more compassionately.
Apologize and Acknowledge Mistakes: If she recognizes her hurtful behavior, an apology can go a long way in mending the relationship. Acknowledging her mistakes shows that she values your feelings.

Moving Forward Together

Both parties should be open to the possibility of change and healing. It may take time, but with patience and effort, it’s possible to rebuild trust and improve the relationship. Here are some additional tips:

Establish Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time for regular conversations to discuss feelings and experiences. This can help prevent misunderstandings from escalating.
Engage in Shared Activities: Find common interests or activities that you both enjoy. This can help strengthen your bond and create positive memories together.
Be Patient: Healing takes time. Both of you may need to practice patience as you navigate this complex relationship.

Remember, it’s okay to seek help from trusted adults or professionals if the situation feels overwhelming. Prioritizing your emotional well-being is crucial in any family dynamic.