AITA For Being Upset With My Dad For Not Thinking Of Me?

AITA for being upset with my dad for not thinking of me?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Dinner Plans Go Awry

In a relatable tale of family dynamics, a 17-year-old girl finds herself home alone with her father, only to discover he’s indulged in a takeout feast without considering her hunger. After a long day of chores, she’s left feeling neglected and frustrated when he dismisses her need for dinner. As tensions rise over a box of fries and a microwaveable meal, she grapples with whether her feelings are justified or if she’s overreacting. This story resonates with anyone who has navigated the complexities of family expectations and the struggle for basic consideration.

Family Dinner Dispute: AITA?

A 17-year-old girl (17F) shares her experience of a family dinner conflict with her father (52M) while her mother (48F) is at work. The situation escalates into a discussion about family dynamics and expectations during a time of wedding tension.

Setting the Scene: The girl and her father are home alone for the evening, as her mother is on duty. They live near a deli that they often visit for meals.
Evening Routine: After a long day of chores, the girl is resting in her room. She hears her father leave the house but thinks nothing of it.
Unexpected Return: About 20 minutes later, the father returns with a box of fries, chicken pieces, and a milkshake, but does not bring anything for his daughter.
Feeling Overlooked: The girl, who has only eaten once that day, asks her father if he got her dinner. He responds that he did not and suggests she can find something to eat at home.
Emotional Reaction: Upset by her father’s lack of consideration, she expresses her disappointment, especially since they usually share the food he bought.
Limited Options: With little food available at home due to a lack of grocery shopping, she finds a microwaveable meal that she finds unappealing and insufficient.
Conflict Escalation: The father becomes annoyed when she feeds herself before their pets, arguing that she can feed herself while the cats cannot.
Seeking Validation: The girl feels conflicted about whether her reaction is justified and worries that if she tells her mother, she will be dismissed as overreacting.

This situation highlights the complexities of family drama, particularly in the context of wedding tension and expectations around shared meals. The girl is left questioning her feelings and whether she is in the wrong for wanting consideration from her father.

In the end, she seeks advice on whether she is overreacting or if her father’s actions were indeed inconsiderate.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

For context, I 17F and my father 52M are home alone tonight due to my mother 48F being on duty at work. We live across from a nice food deli place that we usually go across to when we don’t have anything for dinner. Tonight was apparently one of those nights.

I was in my room resting as I had been doing chores all day and I was tired. I heard the front door open and close and didn’t think too much of it, but then about 20 minutes later, I was out getting water from the kitchen and my dad walked back in with a box of fries, some chicken pieces, and a milkshake in hand for himself.

He instantly sat down and started eating, and I asked if he got some dinner for me as I had only eaten once that day and was hungry and tired from chores. He said he hadn’t and that I’ll be able to find something here. I ended up getting upset as again, I was tired and hungry.

I also had asked him to at least leave a few fries for me as he had gotten a box that we all usually get together. He didn’t end up doing that, so I just found some food, which we don’t have much of right now due to not having done grocery shopping yet.

I was able to find a microwaveable meal at the back of the freezer, but honestly, it looks sad and off-putting, and is definitely not enough for me. I feel like I’m going crazy because I can’t decide if I’ve overreacted or not.

More info: he got annoyed that I was feeding myself before the cats because “I can feed myself but they can’t.” Like that doesn’t apply to him or something? If I tell my mother, she’ll just tell me I’m overreacting.

AITA?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around NTA due to the father’s inconsiderate behavior and lack of basic familial care. Most users agree that it is reasonable to expect a parent to consider their child’s needs, especially when ordering food, highlighting the importance of mutual support within family dynamics.

Overall Verdict

NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Family dynamics can be challenging, especially during times of stress such as wedding planning. It’s important to address conflicts with empathy and understanding. Here are some practical steps for both the daughter and the father to help resolve this situation:

For the Daughter (17F)

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand why you felt hurt by your father’s actions. Acknowledge that your feelings are valid and that wanting consideration is reasonable.
Communicate Openly: When you feel ready, have a calm conversation with your father. Use “I” statements to express how his actions made you feel, such as “I felt overlooked when you didn’t bring me dinner.” This can help prevent him from feeling defensive.
Set Expectations: Discuss your expectations around shared meals in the future. It might help to establish a routine where both of you check in with each other before making food decisions.
Involve Your Mother: If you feel comfortable, share your feelings with your mother when she is home. This can provide additional support and help her understand the family dynamics at play.

For the Father (52M)

Listen and Acknowledge: When your daughter expresses her feelings, listen without interrupting. Acknowledge her feelings and let her know that you understand why she felt hurt.
Apologize if Necessary: If you recognize that your actions were inconsiderate, a simple apology can go a long way. Saying something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t think to get you dinner; I should have considered your needs,” can help mend the situation.
Discuss Family Needs: Have an open discussion about family meals and how to ensure everyone feels included. This could involve planning meals together or checking in with each other before making food purchases.
Be Mindful in the Future: Make a conscious effort to consider your daughter’s needs in future situations. This can help build trust and strengthen your relationship.

Conclusion

Conflict is a natural part of family life, but it can be resolved through open communication and mutual understanding. By taking these steps, both the daughter and father can work towards a healthier relationship and a more supportive family environment.