WIBTA If I Buy A Book My Mom Decided She Doesn't Want Me To Read?

WIBTA if I buy a book my mom decided she doesn’t want me to read?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

A Teen’s Battle for Literary Freedom

In a relatable clash between parental control and teenage independence, an 18-year-old grapples with his mother’s decision to deny him a book he desperately wants to read. After his mom watches the Netflix adaptation of ‘YOU,’ she deems it too inappropriate for him, despite allowing him to read other mature titles. Frustrated by her overprotectiveness, he contemplates buying the book himself if his parents return without it. This story raises thought-provoking questions about boundaries, trust, and the complexities of growing up in a digital age where media influences parental decisions.

Am I the Asshole for Wanting a Book?

A 18-year-old male is facing family drama regarding a book he requested from his parents. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: The young man’s mother and stepfather went on a two-week holiday and promised to bring back souvenirs.
Book Request: He asked for a couple of books, specifically mentioning ‘YOU’ by Caroline Kepnes.
Discovery of the Book: Initially, his parents could not find the book, but his uncle eventually located a copy.
Parental Concerns: After watching the first season of the Netflix adaptation, the mother decided that the book was too sexual for her son to read.
Frustration: The young man feels frustrated because he believes he is mature enough to handle the content, especially since his mother previously allowed him to read ‘GONE GIRL’, which also contains sexual themes.
Desire for Independence: He expresses a strong desire to read books with complex, unhinged narrators and feels that his mother is treating him like a child.
Plan of Action: If his parents return without the book, he plans to purchase his own copy without their knowledge.

The conflict highlights a common issue in family dynamics regarding boundaries and the perception of maturity. The young man is questioning whether his desire to read the book makes him the asshole in this situation.

Key Themes

Family Drama: The disagreement between the young man and his mother illustrates the tension that can arise over differing views on maturity and appropriateness.
Conflict Resolution: The situation raises questions about how to navigate parental authority while asserting personal independence.
Wedding Tension: Although not directly related to a wedding, the underlying themes of family expectations and personal desires can resonate in wedding planning and family gatherings.

Ultimately, the young man is left wondering if his actions would make him the antagonist in this family drama, or if he is justified in wanting to read a book that interests him.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I 18M think I am justified in what I want to do, but just in case, here you go.

So my mom and stepdad went away for 2 weeks on holiday and said they would bring souvenirs. I asked for a couple of books. One of them is the book ‘YOU’ by Caroline Kepnes.

At first, they didn’t find it, but luckily my uncle found a copy. This is where the trouble starts. On the cover of the book, it says ‘Now on Netflix’.

My mom decided to watch the first season of the show and now decided that she doesn’t want me to read it because it is too sexual. I know it is too sexual, and I don’t give a fuck! My mom lets me read GONE GIRL even after watching the movie, even though there is sex in there as well.

I always loved books where the narrator is unhinged and always wanted to try YOU. I hate how my mom still treats me like I am fucking 13!!!

If my parents show up without the book, then I will buy my own copy behind their back.

Would I be the asshole?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a strong consensus that the original poster (OP) is not at fault for wanting to read what they choose, emphasizing that at 18, they are legally an adult and should have autonomy over their reading choices. Many users criticize the OP’s parents for being overly controlling and suggest that the OP should assert their independence, regardless of their living situation. Overall, the comments reflect a belief in the importance of personal freedom and the right to make one’s own decisions, especially regarding literature.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Navigating family dynamics, especially regarding personal choices like reading material, can be challenging. Here are some practical steps for both the young man and his parents to consider in resolving this conflict:

For the Young Man

Communicate Openly: Have a calm and respectful conversation with your parents about why you want to read the book. Share your perspective on maturity and your desire to explore complex themes in literature.
Express Your Feelings: Let them know how their decision makes you feel. Use “I” statements, such as “I feel frustrated when my reading choices are limited,” to avoid sounding accusatory.
Propose a Compromise: Suggest reading the book together or discussing its themes after you read it. This could help alleviate their concerns while allowing you to enjoy the book.
Respect Their Concerns: Acknowledge that your parents may have valid reasons for their worries. Understanding their perspective can help foster a more productive dialogue.
Consider Your Options: If they remain firm in their decision, think about how you can obtain the book independently, but weigh the potential consequences of doing so without their knowledge.

For the Parents

Listen Actively: Take the time to hear your son’s perspective. Understanding his desire for independence and maturity can help bridge the gap between your views.
Reflect on Your Concerns: Consider why you feel the book is inappropriate. Is it based on the content, or is it a reflection of your worries about his maturity? Clarifying your concerns can help in discussions.
Encourage Open Dialogue: Create an environment where your son feels comfortable discussing his interests and choices. This can help build trust and understanding.
Set Boundaries Thoughtfully: If you still feel strongly against the book, explain your reasoning clearly and respectfully. Offer alternative reading suggestions that align with your values while still being engaging for him.
Support His Independence: Recognize that at 18, he is legally an adult. Encouraging his autonomy can strengthen your relationship and help him develop into a responsible individual.

Conclusion

Ultimately, both sides should aim for a respectful dialogue that acknowledges each other’s feelings and perspectives. By fostering open communication and understanding, the family can navigate this conflict in a way that respects the young man’s desire for independence while addressing parental concerns.