Update To AITAH For Not Tolerating My Girlfriend’s Excuse Of Using Her Sign As An Excuse For Being Rude?

Update to AITAH for not tolerating my girlfriend’s excuse of using her sign as an excuse for being rude?

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When Astrology Becomes an Excuse for Rudeness

In a relationship strained by constant interruptions and harsh honesty, a man grapples with his girlfriend’s insistence on using her Sagittarius sign as a shield for her rude behavior. After a series of uncomfortable incidents, including a biting comment about his cooking at a friend’s potluck, tensions reach a boiling point, leading to a heated argument that reveals deeper issues. As friends weigh in on the fallout, he questions whether he’s the one in the wrong for wanting respect over astrological excuses. This story resonates with anyone who’s navigated the complexities of modern relationships, where personal beliefs can clash with basic courtesy.

AITA for Not Tolerating My Girlfriend’s Excuse of Using Her Sign as an Excuse for Being Rude?

In a relationship filled with family drama and wedding tension, a 34-year-old man reflects on his two-year relationship with his 38-year-old girlfriend, a single mother who often uses her Sagittarius horoscope as a justification for her rude behavior. Here’s a breakdown of the situation:

Background: The couple started dating shortly after her divorce. Initially, everything seemed fine, but red flags began to appear as the relationship progressed.
Rude Behavior: The girlfriend frequently interrupts conversations and makes blunt comments that come off as rude. For example, she once told a friend that they should stop ordering takeout because it didn’t look good, claiming, “I’m a Sagittarius, I can’t help it!”
Stealing the Spotlight: During a gathering, she interrupted a friend sharing her travel experiences to boast about her own trips, shifting the focus away from the friend.
Recent Incident: At a potluck, the man prepared a dish that received compliments, but his girlfriend remarked, “It’s not bad, but it’s obvious you didn’t really follow the recipe right? Typical Aries.” This comment shifted the mood, leading to tension.
Conflict Resolution Attempt: When confronted about her behavior, she dismissed his feelings, insisting that her bluntness was a trait of her zodiac sign. This led to an argument where he expressed frustration over her constant use of astrology as an excuse for her insensitivity.
Escalation: In a heated moment, he made hurtful comments about her past marriage and her daughter’s living situation, which he later regretted. This exchange intensified the conflict.
Aftermath: Following the argument, she became distant, and her friends reached out to him, suggesting he should accept her behavior as part of her personality. Meanwhile, some of his friends supported him, acknowledging the red flags in the relationship.
Social Media Drama: The girlfriend began posting cryptic messages on social media about “weak men” and “strong women,” further complicating the situation and leading mutual friends to question the status of their relationship.

Now, he is contemplating ending the relationship, feeling that her behavior is unacceptable and that using astrology as a shield for rudeness is not a valid excuse. He seeks advice on whether he is in the wrong for calling her out on her behavior and not tolerating her excuses.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

AITAH for not tolerating my girlfriend’s excuse of using her sign as an excuse for being rude?

So me 34M, been dating my girlfriend 38F for about 2 years. We got together shortly after her divorce, and she’s also a single mom; it’ll make sense later. As time went on, past the honeymoon phase, I started to notice red flags, like what you’d see at a fair, but looking back, it definitely wasn’t a fair lol.

Here lays the issue: she uses her horoscope sign as an excuse for her behavior; she’s a Sagittarius. Here are some examples over the years. She’ll be honest to the point of being rude.

Once, she told one of my friends, a Samoan bloke, that they should stop ordering takeout because it’s not a good look. When I spoke to her about it later, she shrugged and said, “I’m a Sagittarius, I can’t help it!”

When she’s speaking to people, she’ll interrupt them, even me sometimes. I finally had enough of it one day and asked, “Can you let me finish?” She just says, “Sagittarius’s are blunt and just say what’s on their mind.” In my head, I’m saying, “WTF seriously?”

We were hanging out with our group, and one of them, 31F, just got back from her first international trip. She went to the Philippines and was telling us how great the trip was until my GF interrupted with, “Oh, I’ve been there multiple times” and met this celebrity and ate at this place. Pretty much stealing her thunder and making the conversation about her.

I’ve tried to let it slide because everyone has their good and bad qualities, but it finally escalated last weekend. Our friends recently purchased a house and wanted to host a small potluck to celebrate the milestone. I made Filipino Adobo with Beef Short Ribs and thought it came out pretty well.

When it came time to eat, everyone said the adobo was awesome, but then my GF comments, “It’s not bad, but it’s obvious you didn’t really follow the recipe, right? Typical Aries trying to wing it instead of taking your time to make it perfect.” I followed up with, “If you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it,” and she says, “You don’t have to be so sensitive; you should know how Sagittariuses are by now. We’re just honest, and I’m not going to lie to just make you feel good. It’s not like I said it was bad.”

You can feel the mood shift in the room like a Korean drama. I sigh and just move on, not wanting to take away from our friends’ milestone. The ride home was awkward as she’d say and ask stuff, and I would only respond with short answers, not wanting to get into an argument in the car.

When we got home, she obviously couldn’t read the room and kept bugging me about why I was upset. I told her that her comment was uncalled for, and she f’ing rolls her eyes and says, “You know I’m a Sagittarius. I’m not going to sugarcoat things.” In the moment, I just… cracked.

I told her she can’t keep using her stupid horoscope to be disrespectful or inconsiderate to people and said something like, “I didn’t know Sagittarius meant woman b.” She yelled back, saying stuff like, “You don’t understand,” “Small comments like this wouldn’t affect a real man,” etc. Typical man-hating comments.

To be honest, some things did sting, and that’s when I hit the point of no return, saying things you really can’t take back after saying it. I said, “This is why your marriage failed with your ex; he gave up having to deal with your crap,” and “It’s no wonder why your daughter ran away to go live with her dad.” Of course, more yelling ensued, and I decided to throw her sign back at her face, saying, “Oh, Sagittarius can be honest but can’t take honest facts,” and that’s when I walked off to my office/game room to just escape the situation before it escalated even more.

Now she’s been distant, and some of her friends have been messaging me, saying what I said was uncalled for and that I need to let her be herself. A couple of my friends just patted me on the shoulder and gave me the “nod” of approval. At this point, I’m 70/30 on ending things because these red flags definitely aren’t a fair or carnival.

AITAH for calling her out and not tolerating her behavior, even if it’s tied to something she really believes in?

Update 1: Her friends are more involved and social media.

Since my last post, she’s been full-on silent treatment except for the petty stuff and short responses. I would notice the home network drop while I’m on work calls only while she’s over, and when I check the router, it’s rebooting like she toggled the power switch. Or she’d intentionally start doing things that bug me, like leaving dishes in the sink overnight.

Then I hear about her friends bringing me up in conversations, calling me an a-hole for not being strong enough for a Sagittarius and that I should let her be herself. Cool. Whatever.

But then, she starts posting cryptic Instagram stories about how “weak men can’t handle strong women” and “a real Sagittarius never chases, only replaces.” Now mutual friends are asking me if we broke up, and I’m over here like I haven’t even ended things yet.

I was 70/30 on leaving before; now I’m 100. Airing out issues on social media is the line for me. I’ll likely end things tomorrow because I still want to enjoy the weekend. Will provide an update on how it goes.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments strongly agree that the girlfriend’s behavior is not a reflection of her astrological sign but rather indicative of her character, labeling her as rude and unpleasant. Users emphasize that her actions are unacceptable and suggest that the original poster should end the relationship for their own well-being. Overall, the consensus is that astrology should not be used as an excuse for poor behavior.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

In navigating the complexities of your relationship, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and clarity. Here are some practical steps to consider for both you and your girlfriend:

Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the dynamics of the relationship. Consider what you value in a partner and what behaviors are non-negotiable for you.
Open Communication: Schedule a calm and private conversation with your girlfriend. Express your feelings using “I” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you make comments that seem dismissive.” This approach can help her understand your perspective without feeling attacked.
Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate what behaviors you find unacceptable. For example, let her know that using astrology as an excuse for rudeness is not something you can tolerate. Setting boundaries is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Encourage Accountability: Encourage her to take responsibility for her actions. Suggest that she reflect on how her words affect others, regardless of her zodiac sign. This can help her see the impact of her behavior on your relationship.
Seek Compromise: Discuss ways to improve communication between you two. Perhaps agree on a signal or phrase that can be used when one of you feels the other is being rude or dismissive. This can create a safe space for both of you to express concerns without escalating tensions.
Consider Professional Help: If the issues persist, consider couples therapy. A neutral third party can facilitate discussions and help both of you understand each other’s perspectives better.
Evaluate the Relationship: After your discussions, take time to evaluate whether the relationship meets your emotional needs. If her behavior does not change and continues to affect your well-being, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship for your own mental health.

Ultimately, both partners should feel respected and valued in a relationship. By addressing these issues head-on, you can either work towards a healthier dynamic or make the decision to part ways amicably.