My Father Called Me A Whore, So I Cut All Contact With My Family

My father called me a whore, so I cut all contact with my family

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Family Values Clash with Personal Freedom

A 25-year-old woman finds herself at a crossroads after a painful conversation with her religious Mormon father, who harshly criticizes her lifestyle choices. Despite her efforts to maintain a relationship, his hurtful comments about her worth and choices lead her to sever ties with her family. This story resonates with anyone who has faced the challenge of balancing familial expectations with personal beliefs, especially in a society where individualism often clashes with traditional values.

Relatable Struggle: Many can empathize with the difficulty of navigating family dynamics when personal beliefs diverge.
Thought-Provoking Themes: The story raises questions about unconditional love, acceptance, and the impact of religious beliefs on family relationships.

Family Drama Over Religious Differences

A 25-year-old woman, raised in a strict Mormon family, has found herself in the midst of significant family drama due to her lifestyle choices and differing beliefs. Here’s a summary of the situation:

Background: The woman grew up in a devout Mormon household but has never shared her family’s religious beliefs. This difference has strained her relationship with her family over the years.
Relocation: At 18, she moved to another country for college and decided to stay permanently, which provided her relief from her family’s expectations.
Communication: Despite the distance, her family maintains contact, calling her once or twice a month to discuss their lives and church activities. She occasionally shares updates about her own life.
Recent Developments: After a four-month hiatus in communication, she informed her father about her new boyfriend and that they are living together.
Father’s Reaction: During the call, her father expressed disapproval, labeling her living situation as sinful and making derogatory comments about her character, including a comparison to a “used shoe.”
Decision to Cut Contact: Hurt by her father’s words, she ended the call and sent a message stating she would only communicate if they could have a mature conversation. Following this, she blocked her father and other family members who supported his views.
Family Backlash: Her mother and siblings reacted negatively, bombarding her with messages that echoed her father’s sentiments. They urged her to reconsider her stance and to understand their perspective.
Emotional Impact: The woman feels deeply offended and hurt by her father’s comments, believing that no parent should speak to their child in such a derogatory manner, regardless of religious beliefs.

This situation highlights the challenges of conflict resolution within families, especially when differing values and beliefs come into play. The woman is now faced with the dilemma of whether to maintain her distance or attempt to mend the relationship under the current circumstances.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

My Story

I, a 25-year-old female, grew up in a very religious Mormon family. I was never once in my life interested in the Mormon religion or any religion. This has created a big hole in my relationship with my family.

I’ve tried to keep the peace with them for too long. I’ve moved to a different country after I turned 18 for college and ended up staying in the country permanently. It was honestly a huge relief to live so far away from my family, but they still call me once or twice a month to update me on their lives and what’s been going on with their church.

Sometimes, I update them on my life if anything has changed. It’s been a while since I last spoke to them; I have gotten a boyfriend since our last call, which was around 4 months ago, and moved in with him and his brother just a week ago. Today, my father called, and I brought up that I have a boyfriend.

He asked if we lived together, to which I replied “yes.” He went on a religious tangent, saying that what I’m doing is sinful and against the Mormon religion. He said a few other bigoted things, but what made me decide to cut all contact was him saying that he wishes his daughter didn’t end up being a whore and compared me to being a used shoe and unlovable to any man.

My boyfriend isn’t the only man I’ve had sex with, but I’m definitely far from a whore. I ended the call right after he said that and sent him a message stating that I will not be in any contact with him unless he wants to have a mature, adult conversation. My mother and siblings blew up my phone backing up my father, so I blocked them too.

I am extremely hurt and offended by his comment. Religious or not, a father should never call his own daughter such hurtful things. I’ve gotten a few messages from other family members asking me to unblock my family and to just “look at it from their perspective.”

I’m being treated like I’m the asshole in the situation.

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around NTA due to the unjust treatment the individual received from their family and the importance of self-respect. Most users agree that the individual should prioritize their well-being and set boundaries with their family, emphasizing that love and personal choices should not be shamed, especially by family members.

Users empathize with the individual’s situation, sharing similar experiences of ostracism after leaving high-control religions.
There is a collective agreement that moving in with a partner is a personal choice and should not be judged harshly.

Expert Advice for Resolving Family Conflict

Navigating family dynamics, especially when they involve deep-seated beliefs and values, can be incredibly challenging. Here are some practical steps for both the woman and her family to consider in resolving this conflict:

For the Woman

Reflect on Your Feelings: Take time to process your emotions regarding your father’s comments and the overall situation. Understanding your feelings can help you communicate more effectively.
Set Clear Boundaries: Decide what kind of communication you are comfortable with moving forward. It’s essential to establish boundaries that protect your emotional well-being.
Consider a Calm Conversation: If you feel ready, consider reaching out to your family for a calm discussion. Express how their words affected you and emphasize the importance of mutual respect.
Seek Support: Connect with friends or support groups who understand your situation. Sharing experiences can provide comfort and perspective.
Be Open to Dialogue: While it’s important to stand firm in your beliefs, being open to hearing their perspective can foster understanding. This doesn’t mean you have to agree, but it can help ease tensions.

For the Family

Practice Empathy: Try to understand your daughter’s perspective. Recognize that her choices are part of her journey and may differ from your beliefs.
Avoid Derogatory Language: Reflect on the impact of your words. Instead of using hurtful comparisons, focus on expressing concern in a loving and respectful manner.
Open the Lines of Communication: Reach out to your daughter with a willingness to listen. Acknowledge her feelings and express a desire to understand her choices without judgment.
Educate Yourselves: Consider learning more about the experiences of those who leave high-control religions. This can foster compassion and understanding within the family.
Be Patient: Understand that rebuilding trust and communication may take time. Be patient with your daughter as she processes her feelings and decides how to move forward.

Conclusion

Family conflicts rooted in differing beliefs can be painful and complex. By approaching the situation with empathy, respect, and a willingness to communicate, both sides can work towards a resolution that honors their individual values while fostering familial love and understanding.