AITA For Moving Out, Stopping The Electric And Leaving My Roommate To Figure Out The Rent?

AITA for Moving out, stopping the electric and leaving my roommate to figure out the rent?

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Trust is Broken: A Roommate’s Betrayal

In a shocking turn of events, a young woman discovers that her college best friend has not only broken into her locked room but also stolen her belongings while she was away giving birth. After months of living together, the betrayal leads to a dramatic fallout that leaves their friendship in ruins and both of their credit reports tarnished. This story raises thought-provoking questions about trust, boundaries, and the consequences of reckless behavior among friends. It’s a relatable tale for many who have navigated the complexities of shared living arrangements and the fragility of friendships.

Family Drama Over a Broken Friendship

A 26-year-old woman (referred to as OP) faced significant family drama and conflict resolution challenges after moving in with her college best friend, a 21-year-old woman. The situation escalated into wedding tension when OP’s belongings were mishandled, leading to a breakdown in their friendship.

Living Arrangements: OP moved into an apartment in Florida with her best friend, allowing her to choose the master bedroom while OP took the smaller room. OP furnished most of the apartment, including a large 75-inch TV in the living room.
Pregnancy and Departure: After a few months, OP became pregnant and decided to return home to give birth. Despite leaving, she continued to pay rent, planning to return to the apartment. Before leaving, OP moved her TV into her locked bedroom to protect it from potential damage, as her friend had a history of being careless when under the influence.
Unexpected Visit: A month later, OP learned that her friend’s brother was staying over. While OP had no issue with this, she noticed a large TV in the background during a FaceTime call. When she inquired about it, her friend revealed that they had taken OP’s TV from her locked room, claiming it matched their aesthetic.
Violation of Trust: OP was shocked to discover that her friend had broken into her locked room using a knife. Upon further investigation, OP found that not only was her TV missing, but her room was also messy, her locked bathroom had been accessed, and her clothes were being worn by her friend and her brother.
Confrontation and Fallout: In a fit of anger, OP confronted her friend, who dismissed her concerns and accused OP of being selfish for keeping the TV in her room. This led OP to take drastic measures, including having her sister and a friend remove her belongings from the apartment and stopping rent payments.
Tragic Return: Unfortunately, OP lost the baby and returned to the apartment earlier than planned, only to find it in disarray. Her friend had moved out, stopped paying rent, and the delinquency now affected both of their credit reports.
End of a Friendship: Years of friendship ended abruptly without any apology or accountability from her friend. OP was left to ponder whether she was in the wrong for her actions or if she should have continued paying rent since moving in together was her idea.

This situation highlights the complexities of living with friends and the potential for conflict resolution when boundaries are crossed. The wedding tension that can arise from such family drama can have lasting effects on relationships, as seen in OP’s experience.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

I 26F moved into an apartment in Florida with my college bestie 21F. I let her pick her room, so she took the master with an en-suite, and I got the smaller one. I also furnished most of the place, including putting a 75 TV in the living room.

A few months in, I got pregnant and decided to go home to give birth, but I kept paying rent since I planned to return. Before leaving, I moved my TV into my locked bedroom. She could still use everything else, but I did this because she gets careless when high or drunk, leaving keys in the door, passing out randomly, etc. I didn’t want my things stolen or damaged.

About a month later, she mentioned her brother was staying over. He was cool, so I had no issue with it. I was actually thinking of offering him my room since he was only staying a few days.

But on FaceTime, I noticed a big TV in the background. I asked, “Oh, you got a new TV?” She said no. “Did he bring one?” Again, no. Then she pans the camera and says, “Oh, we took yours out of your room. It just goes with the aesthetics.”

I said, “But my room was locked?” She just shrugged. “I used a knife to get in.” Like it was nothing.

I blacked out, cussed her out, and ended the call. Then I asked my maintenance friend from the complex to check things out. It wasn’t just my TV—my room was messy, my locked bathroom had been broken into, and both she and her brother had been wearing my clothes.

I was livid. I called her, and she finally answered when I threatened legal action. She said it was selfish of me to put the TV in my room because they had nothing to use. Mind you, we both had TVs in our bedrooms.

At that point, I was done. I had my sister and a friend clear out my stuff while she was at work. Anything we bought together, I sent her half the money for—including the dining table, even though I was being petty when I took it.

I also disconnected the electricity—I didn’t want her running up a spite bill—and stopped paying rent. Unfortunately, I lost the baby and returned earlier than planned.

When I got back, the apartment was trashed. She had moved out, stopped paying rent, and now the delinquency is on both our credit reports. Years of friendship gone, just like that. No apology, no accountability, no nothing.

Just one FaceTime call, and that was it. AITA for handling it this way? Should I have kept paying rent since moving in together was my idea?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments indicate a divided opinion on the situation, with many users emphasizing that the individual made a significant mistake by not removing their name from the lease before ceasing rent payments. While some commenters sympathize with the individual’s predicament and acknowledge the roommate’s wrongdoing, others stress the importance of taking proactive steps to protect one’s financial interests. Overall, the comments suggest that both parties share responsibility for the fallout, highlighting the complexities of roommate dynamics and lease agreements.

Verdict: ESH

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict in living arrangements, especially among friends, can be incredibly challenging and emotionally charged. In this situation, both parties have contributed to the breakdown of their relationship, and it’s essential to address the issues from both sides to find a path forward. Here are some practical steps for resolution:

For OP (The 26-Year-Old Woman)

Reflect on the Situation: Take time to process your feelings about the friendship and the events that transpired. Acknowledge your hurt and disappointment, but also consider your role in the situation.
Seek Closure: If you feel comfortable, reach out to your former friend for a conversation. Express your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on how her actions affected you rather than placing blame.
Consult Legal Advice: Given the lease situation, it may be beneficial to consult with a legal expert to understand your rights and responsibilities regarding the lease and any potential financial repercussions.
Focus on Moving Forward: Consider how you can rebuild your life after this experience. This may involve finding a new living situation, focusing on your career, or seeking support from friends and family.

For the Former Friend (The 21-Year-Old Woman)

Take Responsibility: Acknowledge the breach of trust and the impact of your actions on OP. Understanding the gravity of the situation is the first step toward making amends.
Communicate Openly: If you wish to salvage the friendship, reach out to OP. Apologize sincerely for your actions and explain your perspective without making excuses.
Learn from the Experience: Reflect on what led to your decisions, particularly regarding boundaries and respect for shared spaces. Consider how you can improve your behavior in future living situations.
Consider Professional Help: If you struggle with impulsive behavior or substance use, seeking help from a professional can provide you with tools to manage these issues better.

General Steps for Both Parties

Establish Clear Boundaries: In any shared living situation, it’s crucial to set clear boundaries regarding personal belongings, shared spaces, and financial responsibilities.
Document Agreements: When entering a lease or living arrangement, document all agreements in writing. This can help prevent misunderstandings and provide clarity for both parties.
Consider Mediation: If direct communication proves difficult, consider involving a neutral third party to facilitate a conversation. Mediation can help both sides express their feelings and work toward a resolution.
Prioritize Self-Care: Regardless of the outcome, prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and seek support from friends or professionals if needed.

Conflict resolution is a process that requires patience and understanding from both sides. By taking proactive steps and fostering open communication, it’s possible to navigate the complexities of friendship and living arrangements more effectively.